overture | newsies imagines

ben tyler cook [request] || when you're not here

REQUEST FOR
@BENTYLERSHOOKETH
[BEN COOK]

Ever since I moved to New York City back in 2017, I had been dealing with my mental health quite well. This was because of two reasons: the thrilling energy of the city of my dreams, and my best friend, Ben Cook, who I'd met at one of his famous dance classes.

When we met, i was still the awkward girl who sat lonely at a four-person table at Starbucks and still felt anxiety being in Times Square for more than twenty minutes. The late nights in which I would not be able to sleep and I was lonely were spent with major cry fests and some days I would forget to leave my apartment unless I had work that day.

The only thing thing that had been keeping me together until I met Ben was my job and my college classes. Then, Ben and I clicked and I found myself happier than ever. I loved him in many ways, mainly as just a best friend.

But, recently, I found myself slipping back into watching the literal paint dry on the canvas' I painted to calm the tears in my eyes. But the paintings only made me more depressed because they were blue eyes and golden hair and Ben.

He was always on my mind.

The reason I found myself in this situation was because of Sky Flaherty. A kind hearted, adorable, red-head who was nothing but nice to me since he moved to the city a month ago. If his actions to split Ben from me weren't intentional, they were still realistic. And I hadn't seen my best friend in nearly that entire month.

I missed him more than anything, which was part of the reason I was crying with a cup of hot tea between my fingers and paint all over my cheeks.

The anxiety became worse and worse each week that he was apart from me because he was literally the only person I had in my life. I had my parents, sure, but they were halfway across the country and never truly understood what to do to make my happy. Ben knew, but he didn't even have to. He just did.

I set down my cup of tea on my coffee table and plucked a paper towel from the rack on my counter. I wiped at the wet paint on my face, drying up the tears with it, and tossing the dirty rag into the trash can.

I changed from my dirty clothes and into something more presentable for grocery shopping. I checked my phone before leaving to see if Ben had decided that I still existed only to come up empty handed.

His instagram story was anything but empty. They were in Central Park, walking Sky's dog, and laughing their heads off.

I understood completely why they wanted to spend so much time together. They had traveled for two years together on tour before being separated for a year and a half.

But I didn't understood why I had to be completely ripped from the equation.

I brushed the thought off of my mind and let myself just be empty. No need to worry about Ben. Worry about other things, I told myself. Like the fact that the elevator you're riding in right now could break at any moment, or that the creepy guy walking behind you now in the grocery store could literally attack you and sell you into the Illuminati.

I really needed Ben back in my life.

I stopped by our favorite cafe on the way home only to run into them. 'Run into them,' or rather see them sitting at our table in the back corner, grinning like freaks, and completely enjoying themselves. I didn't let them detour me, because if I left here, I'd run home crying and paint another picture of his irises.

So I got another table for two by the window and ordered a glass of hot tea with toast. I held my head in my hands, breathing my hot and sticky air all over my forearms and willing myself not to cry. Crying in public was so embarrassing.

Fuck mental health. Seriously. It's so stupid. We as humans go through enough shit and having internal problems that could only be fixed by a crazed boy or medicine that turned us into zombies was fucking stupid.

I was so over it at this point that I left my hot tea on my table, along with my half eaten toast and some cash. I trashed the door open and quickly walked away from the café.

I heard my name being called as I turned the block and stopped in my tracks. Ben.

"What?" I spun around, venom dripping from my teeth. "Have you finally decided that I'm relevant, Ben? Are you over not having me in your life, cause I am."

Ben scrunched his eyebrows together, reaching out his hand. "I-I wanted to apologize for-"

"For completely fucking ignoring me for the past month, huh?" I crossed my arms and popped out a hip.

"Y-yeah," he scratched the back of his neck. "I don't know what happened, but I got caught up with Sky and, and- I don't actually have a good excuse and I'm really sorry. But, I was willing myself to call you and apologize, but i was nervous you weren't answer or- or I don't know."

"Well, glad you found the balls to run after me." I let myself laugh slightly, running my fingers underneath my eyes. The tears that I had not known had fallen were now wet against my fingertips. "God, Ben, I'm a fucking mess without you. Please don't ever ignore me again."

I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly, feeling him hug me back. Realization hit him of what I was going through and he practically face palmed himself when he separated.

"I'm so sorry," he apologized again, gripping my hands in his. "I'm so, so selfish. I cannot even fathom how much you're going through, but I also can't understand how I'm the anchor for it all. But that doesn't matter. What matters is that I'm here now, and I'm sorry, and you can let go. No need to worry because no matter what happens, I'm here."

I hugged him again, feeling my heart burst in my chest. Maybe my feelings for him were a little stronger than just what friends.

"You know the reason that you're the anchor is because you make me so goddamn happy and I can't imagine living without you because you're so special to me and-" I breathed shakily, "and I love you."

Ben pulled away to where he could look intensely into my eyes. It was awkward for me, but almost beautiful.

"What did you say?" He gasped.

"I-I love you?" I questioned myself.

"I love you, too," Ben pressed his lips against me so hard that I thought i was going to topple over.

So, I guess that's the reason that when he's not around I can't stop painting his eyes.

—

Hey! It's been a bit since we've talked, but I hope you enjoyed this!

I know I talked to someone else who wanted a request, but I accidentally deleted the photo of the actual idea in my photos. If that was you, and you've reminded me once or twice about it, please message me. I don't remember the username either, I'm so sorry!

If you didn't know, I have a Ben Tyler Cook book out right now. It's called Naive and I guess it's good because everyone's being so generous with the reads and such.

I would also like to thank those of you who read this because we surpassed 100k a while ago and that's just insanely insane to me. I've been on this app for about four years now, and I love it so, so much. I may have moments where I want to delete it because I get stressed, but I always find my way back and I can't imagine myself without it.

And it's nice to have an audience that pays attention to my stories because then I don't feel like I'm writing to a literal wall. :)

So, thanks!