overture | newsies imagines

joshua burrage || waiting here

i wiped hard at the tears streaming down my face and threw my phone at the vase across the room. both things shattered on the floor, water puddling up on the glass. i grabbed carelessly at the flowers that had been in the vase and propped myself up on my bed. the music from whatever vinyl on my record player had since ceased, and now a scratchy sound was my background noise, rhyming with my sobs.

i took a single daisy from the clump in my hand and set the others beside me. i sniffled and plucked at the soggy petals of the flower. i felt stupid and angry and cliche, but i repeated the old "he loves me, he loves me not". like a little kid, i flicked the petals to the floor, breaking down more and more with each flutter.

after three daisies, i completely shut down. my body would not hold up, and i shrunk onto the floor. i leaned back against the edge of my bed, still holding the drooping flowers, and sobbed for hours on the floor of my apartment.

when i couldn't feel my lips wobbling anymore, i took a deep breath and stood from the floor. i brushed up the glass by my dresser and tossed out the flowers. it was nearing midnight when i sat down on the couch, my elbows leaning on my knees and my head in my hands.

the tv was still on cartoon network from when my nephew had been over earlier that morning. it was now playing an adult swim episode of bob's burgers. i shut it off and threw the remote at the wall. the back busted out and the batteries rolled around the floor.

my phone screen was cracked in multiple areas, but it still worked. and it began buzzing loudly from the kitchen counter. i huffed and drug my feet to the room. i flicked back on the lights picked it up without seeing what the contact name was.

"(y/n)," his voice breathed out into (oxymoron!!!!) my ear.

"josh." my eyes slammed shut and my knees grew weak again. i shrunk down the wall, tilting my head back as if that would help the air go into my lungs.

"(y/n)," josh repeated, his breathing shaky like my own. "i'm sorry for calling, again. it's pretty shitty of me considering i just broke up with you. but i needed to hear your voice again."

"it's very shitty of you," i sobbed. "you don't deserve a single word from me."

"i'm sorry—" his voice cracked and i heard him bang his fist against a wall. "i love you."

i set my phone beside me and pressed the speaker button. he didn't say anything again until, "i love you. but you have to understand. we're hundreds of miles apart every single day and i can't deal with the fact that i don't get to see you. going our own ways should help that."

"the sole fact that you know i'm here at home waiting for you to come home should help that." i rubbed my fingers into my temples, my sadness replacing itself with anger. "i'm not going anywhere, josh. not do i plan on going anywhere. i'm going to be right here, in new york, waiting for you. every single day until you're home. breaking up with me doesn't do anything but put the both of us through hell. just stop trying to shut down our love and just let it be. much like me, it's not going anywhere."

a beat of silence passed.

"i want to come home." he whimpered, causing my heart to wrench. "i'm so, so tired here. i'm having the time of my life, but i miss you and new york and you, again and again. i want to come home."

"i want you to come home, josh," i picked back up the phone and pressed my cheek against it. instead of a gush of tears, a single one slid down my hand.

"if i book the next flight home, will you be at the airport waiting?"

"i already told you, i'm waiting here for you to come home. i—" my breath hitched, "i love you."

"i love you, too." josh replied, "i'll see you tomorrow."