La Da Dee ✔

d e a r p o p u l a r g i r l s

dear popular girls

I'm sorry.

sorry I don't go to huge parties every weekend because I'm studying instead, alone at home. sorry I don't even get invited because I'm just a nobody. everyone knows that. sorry I'm so quiet because I get spoken over and I've grown tired of trying. sorry I can't be loud and boisterous. sorry I'm writing in class when obviously I should be bunking. sorry for getting good marks as a result of studying when I should have been snogging strangers at that party you didn't invite me to. sorry I'm not a size small because I eat. I'm trying not to. sorry I don't wear tiny two-piece swimsuits because I hate how I am. I know you do, too. I'm too self-conscious for that. always seem to have a lot to say. sorry I'm so bitter, but I'd much rather be bitter than sickeningly sweet to a point where it's fake and harmful to the people around me. sorry we don't associate, but what's popularity with no true friends or some type of stable future?

nothing.

thanks for standing in front of me in pictures. I'd  rather be a ghost in the background if it means I can remember what I did last night and be certain that my studies are stable, and when the teacher decides to pick on me that it's only because she's been having a bad day. and thanks for excluding me in everything, it gave me time to observe from a distance and from the corners. in actual fact, you did me a favour. thanks. my eyes are wide open now.

not one of you. never was. never will be, and never want to.

___________
the angst in this one