Looking Through the Stars

Monster

Rose walked into the Tardis as gleefully as usual. After two weeks (for her) of staying around the estate, she was ready to get back to traveling with the Doctor. As she walked in, she found the Doctor looking at a panel of the Tardis; sadness filling his face. Rose's eyes filled with worry and care.

"Doctor?" Her voice was a break in the silence.

His head snapped up, his eyes dark with fear and anger. His expression told him to stay away, but Rose chose differ.

"Why do you stay with me?" His voice was harsh and came through clenched teeth.

Rose was apprehensive, "What's wrong, Doctor?"

The Doctor's eyes seemed to flash with fury, "I'm a danger, Rose! How do you live with me? I can't stand myself and I'm falling apart. I'm turning into a monster all over again."

"I love you, I'm not gonna give up on us. You showed me so much more and I'm never gonna be able to pay that back to you." Rose said, her brown eyes filled with comfort.

"How do you love me?" His voice croaked. It broke Rose's heart.

This wonderful man was putting himself down. He had saved so many worlds and lives, but he only saw the flaws and failures. He saved Rose, not just her beating heart, but her future. He was something that she couldn't replace in her heart.

"Don't do this to yourself again. You've saved so many people, so many worlds. Is there not something to look up to that?" Rose questioned him.

He slammed his hands down on the panel, "To hell with that! I couldn't save my own people, I just..... I don't have a home anymore."

"You have a home, you can have one with me. In the Tardis, or on the estate. Wherever you want, with whoever you want. Just stop putting yourself down." Rose could no longer hold back the tears. She cried. The Doctor watched, as his Rose Tyler cried in his Tardis. It was all his fault.

He walked over to her and pulled her into a hug, placing a kiss on the top of her head.

"I just don't see how you deal with the monster I am." He said softly.

Rose looked at him, her eyes red and cheeks stained, "I told you, I love you. I'm not letting your past get in the way of our future. And I'll help you, if you let me know when you're feeling alone or you just need to let go of it all. I'm not going to leave you." She paused, "I'd stand by you if it was all right. All the right choices you make may make you look like a monster to others. If it's one person to a planet of people. I can live with that."

"I just keep making the wrong choices over and over again. A heaviness is just killing me and it's a problem that lies inside me. That's something I don't know, how do you fix it?"

Rose's eyes seem to look right into his mind, through all those thoughts and right where he needed her to find. His hearts seem to skip a beat when her expression changed from that gentle comfort to love. All of it seem to sit in her eyes, so bright compared to his. He cupped her cheeks and pulled her into a kiss.

All of that frustration, and scared was let out into it. The Doctor pushed Rose against the railing of the Tardis. She ran her fingers through the back of his hair, letting her emotions into the kiss. The Doctor's arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer to him till he could almost seem to feel her heartbeat against his. Rose broke. The kiss with a gasp. The Doctor tucked his head into the crook of her neck, kissing the skin gently before speaking again.

"I'm sorry, I needed a release." He whispered against her neck.

His breath sent chills up her spine, "That's what I'm here for."

"What are we, Rose?"

"Lovers, couple, mates, whatever you want."

"I'm scared."

The whisper sent Rose's heart in a twist, "I am too, but I swear to god we are gonna get through this."

"I-I oh, I love you." The Doctor stuttered.

Rose lifted his head off her shoulder and looked deeply into his eyes, "I love you too, and don't you forget that."