Blood Stained Collar BOOK 2 of The Collar Series #Wattys2017 ( BDSM )

CHAPTER 43

When Melanie stopped outside Cirrus's room later that day, the door was partially open and she could hear voices. She knocked and walked in and stopped in her tracks when she recognized the person he was talking too.

"Reece!" She quickly composed herself. "Dr Denver, what are you doing here?"

"I'm checking on my patient and seeing how he is recovering from the anesthetic I gave him."

"You were his anesthetist?" Melanie was stunned. He'd never mentioned it before.

"Yes." He smiled. "I've been going through my records and checking up on all the crash victims today."

"Ohh, I see. Well I'm sorry to interrupt I'll come back later."

"I was just about to leave Melanie, so you can come in." He stepped aside to allow her to get near the bed, but made a point of brushing her arm with his hand as she walked passed him. "If you have any problems Cirrus, don't hesitate to send for me. It was a pleasure meeting you, alive and well." He smiled at Melanie. "Meet for coffee later."

"Thanks, Dr Denver." Melanie glared at him and didn't answer. She needed to know what they had been talking about. "I came to give Mr Ballinger news about a friend of his, he asked me to check on."

"Good news I hope." It was the first time Cirrus had spoken since she walked in. His attention was taken up by the interaction between Melanie and the doctor.

Melanie remained silent and shook her head.

"Noo! No, she can't be dead. Cirrus felt numb. Crystal had come to support him and now she was dead. Without her friendship, he didn't know how he would have coped after Melanie left. Was this the price he had to pay to find her again?

"I'm so sorry. If it helps, I don't think she suffered. I was told she died in the crash." When she saw the pain in his eyes, for a moment, she felt heartbroken. Crystal must've been more than just a friend. Why she had agreed to come and help him find her was a mystery she hoped she would understand.

Reece watched the body language between them and he could tell Cirrus was still very much in love with 'his Melanie' and she was still in love with him. It was hard to miss the way his face lit up when she walked into the room and even though she was the bearer of sad news that morning her eyes looked at Cirrus in a way she had never looked at him. But he was determined not to give up on her that easily.

"I am sorry for your loss Cirrus. If there is anything we can do to help you please don't hesitate to ask. Would you like to speak to a bereavement councilor?" Reece stood closer than was necessary, beside Melanie as he spoke.

Even though Cirrus was distraught at the loss of his friend, he couldn't help noticing the body language the doctor displayed towards her, even though she appeared unresponsive towards him.

"No thanks. I will be okay. I need to, I'd like talk to Melanie if she has time now." Cirrus looked at Melanie, hoping she would stay and talk to him. Even though he felt devastated by Crystal's death, he knew she wouldn't want him to give up the opportunity of making things right with her.

Reece put his hand on her shoulder. "Don't stay too long, Cirrus needs his rest and so do you before your next shift this evening."

She looked up at Reece and was about to say something when Cirrus spoke.

"Thanks for your concern Doctor Denver, I'm fine and talking to Melanie definitely won't tire me out."

Reece smiled. "I'll call in on you later." On his way out, he stopped at the door and called back to Melanie. "Mel, I'll catch up with you later for coffee."

She nodded and waited for him to close the door before speaking. "I'm so sorry to give you such sad news. If there is anything I can do, perhaps I could call friends or family for you, or contact Crystal's family."

"Melanie are you and Dr Denver involved?"

She was not expecting such a direct question and stumbled over her words. "We have been...sort of...yes, it's complicated." Why did she feel so guilty? She fidgeted with his sheets and couldn't look at him.

"Do I detect some doubt about your relationship with him?"

"I don't know."

"I need to know how you feel about him and what I need to do to win back your heart."

"Cirrus, don't do this. You're putting me on the spot. Why did you come?"

"Because I love you, I can't go on living without you. I want you back. I'll do anything you ask just to have you back in my life again. You belong with me."

"Cirrus, I don't belong to anyone. I am my own person. Not anyone's belonging. I'm not an object, a play thing you can mold into something that fits into your life style. I can't be who you want me to be."

"Angel, I don't want you to be anything other than who you are. The woman I fell head over heels in love with and still desperately in love with. I would never have come if I didn't still love you with every fiber of my being. I need you in my life. I want you in my arms again. My life without you is meaningless."

"Cirrus, your lifestyle... I just can't... it's not for me."

"I'll give it all up for you. I don't go to the club anymore. In fact, I brought your collar with."

"Why?" Melanie interrupted before he could say anything else.

"So that you could break it into pieces and know how serious I am about changing my ways and giving up that life style just to have you back in my life, where you belong Baby Girl." Cirrus started coughing.

"You need to stop talking now. You're going to exhaust yourself. We can talk more later when you're stronger. You won't be going home anytime soon."

"I needed to let you know how I felt, seeing you are involved with the doctor. I couldn't risk waiting till later. I don't know how involved you are but I will do anything to get you back with me. I love you, always have and always will." Beads of sweat appeared on his forehead as the pain from his injuries escalated.

"Cirrus, you need to stop talking now and rest." Melanie dabbed at the perspiration on his brow. "You're too stressed and I can tell you're in a lot of pain now. I'm going to get you some more pain medication."

Before she could walk away Cirrus placed his hand over her hand, that rested on the fold of his sheets. All the time he spoke he had noticed how nervously her hand fidgeted with his sheets. Folding and straightening them and gently brushing against his chest. He hoped this was a sign that she still had feelings for him. "Angel, I don't care how involved you have been with him or what you've done together, I just need to know that somewhere deep down inside you there is a small corner of your heart that still loves me."

She looked into his eyes. They were filled with unshed tears. Unable to respond, she brushed his cheek with her free hand which he caught in his and pressed her finger tips to his lips. "Shhhhh now, you need to rest. We'll talk again later, I'll get the pain medication now." As she turned and walked away a pain so intense stabbed her chest. She stood outside his closed door and breathed deeply. She felt like she was being torn apart. Reece had saved her life, he had stood by her through everything and always there when she needed him. Was her love for him duty bound? Could she ever give her heart to him as she had done in the past with Cirrus? Would she ever be in love with him as she was with Cirrus? "Why am I beating myself up like this?" She answered her own question. "Because I am still in love with him, but then I am going to hurt Reece. After all he has done for me, I can't just walk away from him."

She sucked a deep gulp of air into her lungs and held onto it until little stars appeared in her vision. She exhaled slowly and massaged her chest hoping to ease the pain she was feeling. She concentrated on her breathing so she wouldn't pass out and Cirrus's words rang through her memories. 'Breathe Melanie, Breathe.'

When she returned to his room to administer the pain medication through his IV drip he was fast asleep. She worked quietly so as not to wake him. Standing by the side of his bed her heart was racing, she could hear it beating in her ears. Yes, she was still very much in love with him but she could not bear the thought of hurting Reece. She closed her eyes and whispered. "I don't know what to do."