Blood Stained Collar BOOK 2 of The Collar Series #Wattys2017 ( BDSM )

CHAPTER 27

The moment Melanie let go of the feelings she had buried so deep inside her she felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. To openly admit how she felt about Cirrus to someone was as if the gates to all her emotions came crashing out and she wept tears of relief at finally coming to terms with the fact that she would never, could never stop loving him.

"Sheena, what am I going to do?"

"The real question is, what do you want to do?" Sheena guided her to the couch and picked up the box of tissues from the coffee table and gave it to her.

Melanie took a deep breath and sat looking at Sheena with tears still running down her cheeks. "I don't know. I'm so confused and scared."

"I think the first thing you must do is blow your nose and wipe away your tears and lets way up the pros and cons of the two of you getting back together."

Melanie wiped her eyes and blew her nose and tossed the tissue into the bin beside her, while Sheena found pen and paper amongst Melanie's medical study files. She headed the paper, PROS / CONS and handed it over to Melanie.

"While I make us some tea, you write down all the reasons you love Cirrus and want him back in your life under the cons."

Melanie stared at the blank paper with the headings and for a moment she couldn't think of anything good or bad to write.

"There must be something you can write down in one of the columns, surely?" Sheena glanced at the blank paper as she put Melanie's cup of tea down.

"I still love him." She glanced up at Sheena.

"Do you consider that a good thing or bad? Only you can decide if it's a pro or a con." Sheena pointed to the two columns.

"It's a good and bad thing."

"Why both?" Sheena sat down beside her.

"Bad, because it means I can't move forward with my new life here in Australia and good because I can finally admit to myself that I haven't stop loving him."

"Well then, write it down in both columns for now." Sheena sipped her tea before speaking again. "What else can you write on the good side?"

"I went from being a naïve and innocent young girl to a woman. I learnt what it was like to be in love, mind, body and soul. He showed me what it felt like to be loved and cared for, to have all my needs and wants met."

"Mel, stop a minute and listen to yourself."

Melanie stopped talking and looked at Sheena. She sighed. "I did love everything about him and the way he took care of me."

"The way he took care of you, or the way he controlled your life?"

"Oh heavens... he did control my life and I was happy ... well, until the collar."

"Was it just the collar you objected to, or was it finding out about your father's relationship with Cirrus?"

Melanie's pressed her fingers against her trembling lips. Thinking of Cirrus with her father was definitely a bad thing for her and she didn't know if she could ever get passed that.

Melanie looked down at the paper and wrote down all the loving things about Cirrus under Pro and the relationship between Cirrus and her father under Con. She sat and stared at the words as they stared back at her. Was this the real reason she had left and could not stay with Cirrus. She had asked him to give her time and space to think, but she hadn't done any thinking at all. She had moved on with her life blocking him out altogether and starting up a relationship with Reece.

Sheena watched her young friend's face and knew she was struggling with her feelings and inner thoughts. "Mel, do you think you could ever look past your father's relationship with Cirrus and accept his love and allow him to care for you the only way he knows how."

"You mean, let him control my life, so that I become his submissive just like you are to Dante?"

Sheena stood up and walked over to the window and looked out into the night sky. "There are worse things in life than being a sub for a man who loves you with every breath he breathes. Dante loves me and proves it to me every single day, by his actions and his words. Being his sub has taught me the value of respect not only for my own body, mind and health, but that of Dante's too. When we play I give myself to him completely and trust him with my life and in return he takes my body to new heights in physical love that I never dreamed possible. He knows how far to take me and when to stop. I have only ever used my safe word right in the beginning when we first met, after which he guided me to reach higher tolerance levels and I learnt to trust him completely." She turned back and looked at Melanie.

"Sheena, I'm sorry. I never meant to upset you. What you and Dante have is right for you and there are no painful secrets to deal with."

Sheena returned to her seat beside Melanie. "Mel, you really need to decide if you could ever share Cirrus's lifestyle or not. This is the only way you can decide your future."

"Do you think he could change his ways for me?"

"Maybe you need to sit down and talk to each other face to face and see if you can come to a compromise. Meet each other half way. If your love for each other is strong enough, I'm sure you can work something out and who knows how it will turn out. One of you might find you can change for the other."

"I hear what you're saying Sheena and I will think about it, but I want to stay here and finish my training before I consider going back to UK."

"Have you thought that Cirrus might be willing to come to Australia to be near you till your training is over?"

"Do you think he would?"

"Why not ask him?"

"Does he know where I am, or even what has happened to me?"

"No Mel, I kept my word and never told him anything."

"I have so much to think about before I decide to do anything."

"Get some sleep Mel. Things always look brighter in the morning."

"I'll try. Thanks for coming over. Sorry to wake you at this stupid hour of the morning."

"No worries Mel. I did offer to come over any time you needed me. Do you want me to stay? I can sleep on the couch."

"No thanks Sheena. I've kept you up long enough and wouldn't dream of making you sleep on the couch."

Melanie stood up and gave Sheena a hug. "Thanks for putting things into perspective for me."

"That's what friends are for. Goodnight Mel, or is it good morning now." She smiled.

Melanie looked at her watch. "5am! I am sorry Sheena. You must be tired. Please go back to bed and we'll meet for a late breakfast, whenever you're ready."

"Sounds like a lovely idea. Try get a couple hours sleep now. I'll ring when I'm awake."

"Thanks again Sheena. I'm so glad you and Dante came all this way to support me. I owe you both so much."

Sheena kissed Melanie on both cheeks, smiled and left, closing the door behind her.

Melanie looked around the room, feeling over wound. Sleep was the last thing on her mind. She decided to run a hot bath hoping the water would help soothe her tired and frayed nerves. As she lay back in the water and closed her eyes, pictures of perfect moments with Cirrus played through her mind.

Yes, she did love him more than she realized, but could they make it work? Was it possible to compromise and meet each other half way, or would Cirrus be able to give up his BDSM life style for her?