Updated 6/15/17
These scars are something that won't go away easily.
These scars on my arm represent something...
But what?
Loneliness?
Torture?
Pain?
Guilt?
Surrender?
All of the above?
None of the above?
I can only think so much.
These scars on my arm represent many things but one thing in particular...
I may not know now,but i will in the future.
I will realize what those scars meant.
I will be free.
But free of what?
Depression?
Anxiety?
Hurt?
Pain?
Worry?
Panic?
Anything at all?
Maybe just free in general.
Free can mean many things.
There is free as in no more rules.
Free as in getting out of captivity.
Free as in no longer trapped under their arms.
Free means many things,but which free am I striving for?
Am i really looking to be free?
Or am i just trying to find a way out of being held captive?
I want to be free.
I don't want to live in this place full of guilt,anger,irritability, worry,pain,depression,etc.
I want to be happy.
I want to live a free life.
Not be trapped in these walls of my room.
I feel as if I'm encaged and there is no way out.
There's all these teenagers out there having fun with friends.
Having rhe time of their lives together but...
I'm just here in my room.
Not allowed out.
Not allowed to see the light.
Lucky enough to even go to my front yard.
I'm lucky enough ti even get to see ny friends a couple times this summer
Every year i have hope that things will change and I will be able to see my friends and be happy but as soon as summer rolls around and time comes...my hope is crushed into millions of peices.
I can't go out.
I can't leave.
If i leave, there is someone following me.
They don't have trust in me.
They don't have anything in me.
But...i have never done anything wrong.
I've never betrayed them.
I never lied to them yet...they don't trust me.
All those things brother has put into their head,they don't trust me.
One day...
One day i will prove them wrong.
But it won't be for a while.
I can't stand up to mother.
Who knows what she'll do.
I don't want to get into trouble.
I guess that I'll just stay here being trapped.
It's okay though...im used to it.
One day,it'll all go away.
And it will be okay
