Updated 6/17/17
Happiness...
Something that is very rare for me.
I'm rarely ever happy.
Usually I hate life.
Usually I don't want to get out of bed.
Usually I walk with my head low.
I'm always crying when nobody is around.
But not today.
Today I have a feeling that it'll be a good day.
Today i feel as if good things will happen.
Today,for once,i feel...happy.
I can't stop smiling.
Just talking to her makes me smile.
The thought of her makes me smile.
I can't believe it.
Honestly,I'm enjoying this because I'm rarely ever happy.
I might as well enjoy it while it lasts because bad things always happen when I'm happy.
Something always comes up and it ruins my happiness.
I'm going to try and get away from those things for now because I need to be happy.
I'm tired of always being depressed and anxious.
I'm tired of keeping my head low just so that i won't have to look people in the eye.
I'm tired of all of it.
I just want to be happy for the rest of my life.
I dont undestrand how all these other people are happy 24/7.
I want to be like them.
I want to have a positive outlook on life.
I want to walk with my head up.
I want to be able to look people in the eye and talk to them.
I just want to go one day without having these panic attacks.
They come very often.
My panic attacks come anywhere from 1-3 times a day.
Any little negative thing that i think about,leads me to having a panic attack.
I'll start to over think it which leads me to it.
Honestly,I'm tired of having them.
You feel like you can't breathe.
You feel like the walls are closing in.
The world is spinning around you.
You start to shake violently.
You can't move.
You start to freak out.
I just want one day where I won't have to deal with it.
One day is all i ask for.
Is that too much?
I only want one thing.
I want...happiness.
