Lights off

Chapter 9 Unintentional

Spencer's POV

"You're so beautiful, Spencer." he said softly cupping my face with one hand. Then he climbed on the top of me. and kissed me hard again, cupping my face. After he pulled away he examined my face with his thumbs like a blind person would do. He backed away a little, off me and bent my legs. He leaned himself on my tibia bone. And leaned in closer to my ear and told me something I dreaded to hear.

"Open your legs." He whispered huskily, firmly. From this phrase I was assured that he was totally drunk and that scared me even more.

"oh my god!" I said breathlessly to myself in a low voice, doubting that he heard me. I'm in a perfect position. A guy asking me to open my legs. and he's leaning his body on my bent legs. I think If I wasn't blind, I would've had a chance to run. But now, In this position If I even move he would catch me before I continue it. I started shivering due to enormous fear. And I would definitely cry soon. As I was imagining the idea if he did what he really wants. The more I think of it, The more scared I get. "P-Please don't..d-don't-"

"I SAID OPEN YOUR LEGS!" He shouted at the top of his lungs. I gasped in fear while flinching at his voice. 

"P-Please, d..d-don't do this." I begged fearfully, cracking. Enormously afraid he might do it himself. because, To be honest, my legs weren't that strong. They were only shivering because of fear. 

"I WANNA FUCK YOU!!" he shouted confidently like it was very simple. "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND, OPEN YOUR LEGS!" 

I flinched. I wanted to bury myself now. I can't see any of it. Only receiving shouts. Not knowing what is he up to do next. I can't take it anymore. I can't pull myself together. I've to confess about it. This guy scars me more than anything on earth. I burst into crying, still trying to hold it back. Afraid my cries might arouse his outrage more. Afraid he might pull my legs apart and undress me. I put my hands up in defense, afraid he might hurt me. 

"Please, p-please no please." I said, cracked. 

"So you're not gonna open them?" He asked.

"N-No, p-please.  I-I can't." I said curling up even more. Still raising my hands in defense. 

"Look at me spencer." He said softly while putting my hands down. Hurt was obvious in his voice. Look at him? Did he forget I was blind? God, please help me. I was only breathing heavily, afraid of any unexpected action. I felt he calmed down. Even his grip was very gentle. His breathing was very normal. "Why do you hate me?" He asked, hurt. Like a 4-year-old child. I didn't know where to look so he thought I was ignoring him by evading the eye contact. But I wasn't because I can't see. I felt in his tone like he was going to cry. "Spencer?" He called my name, still hurt. "Why aren't you looking at me?" He asked like a child, shaking me slightly as if I was dead. 

I had that thing growing gradually in my throat. I was at a loss of words. It's like I forgot how to speak. I only opened my mouth. No words coming out but heavy breathing. I wanted to speak. Beg him to leave me forever. But I couldn't. I had to stay there hopeless between his legs. I kept saying please voiceless. 

"Why do you hate me spencer?" he asked me totally disappointed. He was calm until his breathing became very fast and heavy like something was gradually arousing his outrage. "ANSWER ME!" He suddenly shouted. I flinched gasping heavily in surprise. "HUHH?! WHY DO YOU FUCKING HATE ME?!" he yelled after shaking me hard as if he was trying to remain my consciousness. I became more scared than ever.  He was yelling plus he was using his hands. and that's no good. I was sobbing hard, breathing heavily, shaking like crazy plus my voiceless begs. He climbed off me furiously and I sighed deeply at the relief. I kept inhaling and exhaling deeply still sobbing hard and I pulled the blanket to cover myself though I was dressed but I wanted to bury myself now. And he rushed out of the room, I think. Slamming the door hard making me flinch. And cry even more.