Lights off

Chapter 16 Anxiety

Toby's POV

After telling her to wake up early tomorrow. I've realized I was naked, only wrapped in a towel. So, I put on my clothes to sleep. I've also realized she was still in her underclothes so she must be cold. I was assured that she was, when I saw her shivering and rubbing her arms to create heat. I bought a shirt of mine. 

"Come here." I demanded roughly. My voice scared her so she flinched. She hesitantly came at the edge of the bed, her feet touching the ground. "Raise your hand." I said firmly. 

"No please-" She said weakly, cracked. 

"I said raise it." I said a little louder. And she did, hesitantly. I put the shirt on her gently. And planted a kiss on her lips as I cupped her face. When I saw her face was bright red, again, I spoke.  "You can go back now." I chuckled,  rubbing her cheeks with my thumbs. She went back, scared. She curled up, still feeling cold and afraid. God, she's so cute. I climbed beside her but not too close. I waited a little then talked. "Spencer?" I called her, though I knew she was still awake. 

"P-Please, please just..." She spoke shakily, I felt she was freezing, I couldn't make out the rest of the sentence. She was giving me her back. 

"What's wrong?" I chuckled at her view. Her curling up like a little girl. She looked so sweet. 

"Please, leave me alone, please." She said weakly, shrinking more. She was crying quietly. I creeped my hand under her side, And pulled her closer by the stomach while speaking. 

"You know, no matter what, but you can't sleep without cuddling with me." I teased as I turned her around to face me. She whimpered in my chest. I could feel her containing her cries. I felt like she was hurting her chest to do it. 

"Please." She said breathlessly. 

"Spencer, though I hate seeing you cry, but at the same time I hate you bottling it up." I said softly, brushing her hair gently. "I feel like it's hurting you." I said, concerned. "Cry until you're done. And I'll patiently wipe your tears off and tell you it's okay, continually." I felt bad for her. And what made me feel worse is that I'm the one who put her through this. But I don't know why she takes it this way. I mean I'm just kissing her because she's too seductive. It's not like I'm torturing her or something. I hugged her tighter, And rubbed her back in a comforting way. And she would flinch sometimes. 

"Please lea-"

"No Spencer I'm not gonna leave you like this, not even for a second." I said raising my voice a little. "I don't care if you cry all night. I will stay by your side and hug you until you calm down."

She sighed like something was in her throat. Her breath was shaky. I kissed her head and hugged her tighter. We stayed like this, me hugging her tightly, kissing her head every while, rubbing her back gently, until she fell asleep. I was scared. I'm scared of tomorrow. I tried to get over my worries by sleeping. But even, I dreamed of the possibilities that would happen. It turned into a bunch of nightmares. Every second that passed I felt like I wanted her more. I felt like I was getting closer to it. I didn't want it to happen. I wanted to stay like this. Just me and her. Sticking to the hope that she might.. at least.. accept me one day. Eventually. 

I woke next morning finding her lying in my arms like an angel. I never wanted her this badly. I hugged her so tight so a long time, feeling her breasts pump slowly and peacefully against my chest. I kissed her head and got up. Everything I did this morning was followed by a sigh. A sad one,  actually.

Lorenzo's POV       

I knew the following days are going to be hard on Toby. I had to stay beside him in the bitter and sweet. I waited for him to arrive with car in front of my house. I could see his face expression through the glass. It was a sad one. We went to the academy in complete silence. It wasn't an awkward one. Because I was being very understanding with him. He's sad about it. Even though he won't confess about it. I know him, he's my friend. Best friend. Toby was training silently. While we were heading to a table to eat our lunch some guy bumped into him. The guy immediately apologized. But Toby didn't even bother to look at him. He was looking in front of him, on the ground. I gave the guy an apologizing look for Toby's actions. We sat and silence still took over. Toby didn't eat. He was lost in his thoughts.