•Tough love• yoonkook [BTS]

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Jungkook's POV

The things Yoongi said that day couldn't leave my head. When he started talking I thought that I knew exactly what he was going to say, a part of me was even a bit bored and I didn't pay much attention to what he was saying. But when I realized it, when I realized that he actually said 'prevents me from making myself disappear' and 'The world would have been a better place if I wasn't born' I froze. I wanted to make him stop. But I didn't. I couldn't, what I had heard broke my heart. When Jimin yelled at him and went to hug him, I felt so useless. I was the one who should have comforted him! I had always been the one who was there for him, but this time I hadn't done anything! I just sat there, I didn't stop the others from inviting his parents. But that wasn't the thing that hurt the most. I wasn't the one to tell him to stop. I didn't even pay attention to him. Jimin was the one who ran to hug him and made him shut up. I didn't say anything.

-Congratulations! You're the best boyfriend someone could have.

-Shut up!

-Am I wrong?

After practice that day, I approached Yoongi and told him that I needed to talk to him.
"What's wrong Jungkook?" He asked tired.
"Can we go somewhere more... private?" I asked.
"Come..." he said and we got in the studio that he shared with Namjoon. "What do you want?" He asked once again.
"Yoongi... what the f..k were you talking about this morning?" I asked in a low tone but angrily.
"Jungkook... I don't know, I'm tired." He whispered.
"Yoongi look at me" I said and placed my finger under his chin to raise his head. "You didn't mean... you aren't going to... do anything stupid?" I asked scared. He didn't respond. "Right? You didn't mean that...!"
"I don't know Jungkook!! I thought about it all night..." he said and I opened my eyes widely scared of what he was going to say. "No! Not that, I'm not brave enough to hurt myself. Trust me I tried once!"
"What??" I yelled.
"That's not the point I was fifteen back then!" He said and I couldn't hold a giggle either ways I relaxed. "I thought about me all night... Jungkook, I have to disappear. Me, myself, my character should disappear. I'm too sensitive, I'm just a child inside Jungkook. I'm weak! I can't be weak if I want to survive" he said but I interrupted him.
"No Yoongi! You shouldn't change! I don't want someone else, I want you, I want that sensitive child who tries really hard to be an adult who doesn't give a f..k, and of course fails!" I said smiling and kissed him. "That's why I love you Yoongi. Because I can understand you, I love you, not someone else. I don't love that someone you're trying so hard to be, but you. You and only you! You you and again you!" I kept repeating the word you and started tearing up. I gently kissed him and he hugged me again.
"But no one else does." He whispered. Our lips had only 2 cm distance and every breath he took hit my lips and sent shivers to my whole body.
"One person is enough. Plus the other members love you just the way you are!" I replied.

But after that day Yoongi started changing. That moment we had inside the studio was the last time that I saw Yoongi crying and actually the last time I saw the Yoongi I knew. He started spending more time at his studio and he didn't talk to me a lot. He would joke around only when the camera was filming us. He started hanging out more with Hoseok and Jimin and I felt like someone was slowly stabbing me in the back.

But I didn't say anything... what could I possibly say? And to whom? Only Seokjin could understand me but he would start the I told you so's if I spoke to him so I had to keep everything for myself. I don't know how many times I cried myself to sleep...and most of the times I didn't know why exactly I was crying.

Was it because Yoongi had changed? Or maybe it was that Jimin was closer to him than me, and I say especially Jimin because he was the one who always acted cute around him. And the worst part is that I loved Jimin Hyung! He was an amazingly sweet person who cared about all of us. That situation had honestly f..ked me up.

Only Taehyung could make me forget about Yoongi...he's the most special person I've ever met. He looks weird. But he's not. He's just different... he loves us and cares about us but he has a different way of showing it. He might look like he's immature and like he doesn't take anything seriously but that's not it! He likes having fun but if someone says something offensive to him or to us he turns into a savage and you should run away from him. Many times he noticed that something was wrong with me and he tried really hard to make me tell him but I managed to resist him and I didn't say anything.

One day while we were on a tour in Japan... I did something I'll regret my whole life... I secretly made a tumblr account because I was curious of what the fans thought about us. I mostly wanted to find out what happens with our ships. Why did I do that... why? I typed Yoonmin and I quickly scrolled down not paying attention what was in front of me cause I knew I wouldn't be strong enough to bear such thing. Millions of posts, fanfics, fanarts, memes. I quickly typed Yoonkook... I scrolled down hoping to see the same amount of posts but of course that didn't happen.
Then...a post caught my eye. It said:

I can't I understand how some of you guys ship Yoongi and Jungkook! They're five years apart! They have nothing in common, that ship isn't logical.

It was just a post... from someone who didn't know me neither Yoongi. She knew nothing about us!!! That's what I told myself. But I couldn't help but wonder...

What if we really have nothing in common... and what if... he doesn't love me anymore??

_______

Hii...
What's going oooon????

Press the little ⭐️ if you liked it and comment below. Show me some love sweeties I'm going through a rough time at the moment. I just hope that I took the right decisions...