Deadly Ends (Book #4)

Chapter Twenty- Eight

There was so many people knocking on the door of the library and yet, here I am curled up in a ball on the couch, trying to avoid any of it.

Of course I am sure no one outside the door finds it amusing that I have locked the door.

I did not want to see any of them, especially after I threw so many things at the walls, breaking them.

They all probably suspected that I had finally lost it and there was no going back now.

So far I had recognized three voices outside the door: Montgomery, Louis and Tinsley, who were all trying to get me to either unlock the door or leave the library.

I just needed to push past all these feelings that I was experiencing, which I needed to handle without a audience.

"Cordelia?" Theodore asked, appearing in front of me.

I shook my head "No, not you too" I quickly stood "I will not let you be added to the list of people who are trying to force me out of here before I am possibly ready!"

"Why are you so scared of being around people?" he asked.

"Because they ae all looking at me with the same expression of pity" I looked away "I feel so incredibly guilty, because they think I am the victim of what happened, but I refuse to be the victim, especially when so many have died" I took a seat on the chair "They all want answers to this long list of questions! They have questions that they think I have the answers to, but what about me, who is going to answer my questions?"

Theodore knelt down in front of me "You must let someone help you or you will never get past this"

"In order to get past this, I need to accept what has happened and I am not yet ready for it" I explained.

He reached for my hand, but once again I pulled it away, unable to let anyone touch me so.

I looked down at him "What am I supposed to tell them?"

He shook his head "I am not sure of how to answer that" he stood up "I can however tell you that you can stay inside of this library, but by doing so, you are just adding more questions to that long list"

I slumped my shoulders "I know you are right, but I am scared to go outside and allow them to look at me in such a way that makes me fake how I really feel"

"Cordelia, the only person asking you to hide away your feelings is you" he spoke, trying to speak softly.

I stood up "What you do not understand is that I have to, just in order to get through the days now"

"You do not need to be alone in this" he said.

I nodded "Yes, I do"

I turned to the door, taking the key and slowly unlocking it, allowing the doors to slide open.

There were several people waiting outside that door for me.

"I am sorry for causing such a scene, I just got overwhelmed" I said, speaking slowly and softly.

Louis reached for my hand, taking it, making me jump, and pulling it away.

I felt so bad for acting such a way, especially when all Louis wanted to do was help me and comfort me, though I could not seem to allow it.

Tinsley stared at the two of us "Do you need another potion to help you sleep, like the other night?"

Louis looked confused by that statement and I quickly shook my head.

"I am just going to go to me room and lie down for a moment" I spoke, walking past everyone and relieved that no one tried to stop me.

I slowly made my way up the stairs, ignoring everyone, while I quickly shut my door and sunk down against it, finally allowing myself to cry, after holding it in downstairs.