A Deviant, Rebel & Princess

Losing my mind

I could hear this buzzing noise next to me.

“Ughh” I moaned trying to grab my phone. Looking at the time it was still around 5:30am. Thank god, Harley slept through the night.

“Hello....” I barely managed to groan out as my head pounded in my ear.

“Hey ariel, Its Travis”

“Travis do you know what time it is?” I moaned, laying back down.

“Oh shit....I forgot about the time difference....So sorry Ariel” He apologised.

“What do you want?” I said sharply.

“Umm...just....I....” he started.

“Travis, just spit it out” I snapped getting more annoyed.

“We kinda have asked my old buddy Aaron to come and do some vocals for us on tour” Travis said, probably trying to say it as best he can.

“You replaced me?” I stuttered.

“No, of course not...but your still unwell and .... “ he muttered.

“Im a liability? I get it, its fine, you’ve got some one better and you don’t need me” I snapped.

“No, its not like that Ariel!” Travis defended. I couldn’t take any more of it and just hung up.

My head was hurting so bad, sitting up I looked over to my bed side table and saw another bottle of vodka that I had missed last night. You know what they saying about curing a hang over....just keep drinking. Opening the lid, and placing the bottle to my lips I felt nothing. No pain, no anger, no sadness nor any happiness. I just wanted to disappear.

THUMP...THUMP...

“Go away!” I murmured, covering my head with the pillow. I could hear Harley crying and then there was another knock at the door. Dragging my self out of bed, I picked up Harley trying to calm her down before opening the door.

“Shhh....” I held tight kissing her forehead, soon she relaxed and held on to me. I opened the door and squinted my eyes in the bright light.

“Ariel, finally ive been standing out here for 10 minutes already” My mum whinged pushing the door open.

“Is that Vodka I smell on your breath?” she asked when she lent over and hugged me.

“I just had a drink last night mum” I cringed as she pushed her way through in to the room.

“its so dark in here” she went over and pulled the curtains open, letting the bright sun light pour in to the room making my eyes hurt. Quickly I grabbed all the bottles I could from last night and shoved them in the bin, so my mother couldn’t see and start interrogating me again.

I sat down with Harley in my arms, I needed to feed her. Fetching around in my bag, I found her baby food and started to fed her. She was the only good thing that ive ever done and I'll never regret her.

“Is this all your stuff?” my mum asked looking around.

“No, but its all I need for the moment....I don’t want to go back there” I replied.

“Oh baby, How did this all happen?” My mum sat beside me.

“Im just tired ... been stressing with the tour, the band, Harley just everything” I teared up.

“What people are saying on the internet?” My mum asked. Looking up at her, I must have looked confused.

“Im not living in the dark ages Ariel, I know how to use the internet” she replied.