The Moth

Chapter Thirty: Days In Color// She Was Purple

Chapter Thirty: Days In Color// She Was Purple 

"Hey, describe blue."

I curled up against his side and groaned. "I'm reading."

"Please."

I sighed and leaned my head back, looking up at him from his shoulder. He was supposed to be doing homework but he obviously wasn't too into it. He looked down at me expectantly.

"Fine."

I sat up and leaned against the wall.

"Blue." I bit my tongue. "It's... cold. But not always. It's only cold when it's mixed with white. Blue is the color of the sea and the sky on a clear day. It can be as open as standing by the side of the beach with nothing but air around you. Or it can be closed... like a night sky when you're looking up through your window. Blue is like black, but like... its softer sister. It's like a cold winter without the biting air."

He was quiet.

"Blue."

I knit my brow, trying to keep a blank face. "...Why? You're thinking quite a bit into it."

He extended one jean-clad leg out, waving his foot. "So...what about yellow and orange?"

I swallowed and cleared my throat. He ignored me.

"Yellow is the sun, all bright and stuff. It hurts your eyes if you stare too hard, but if it's soft and light it reminds me of babies. Orange is... friendship. Open, energetic, free. Bright. Intelligent."

I reached over to the computer table and picked off the my snack for the day, splitting the peeled tangerine in half. "This isn't an orange, technically, but here."

He turned towards me and I slipped a slice in his mouth, watching him and wincing as the flavor flooded my own mouth.

His mouth turned downwards, like he was thinking.

"Purple?"

I frowned. "I don't particularly like that color. But fine. For you." I stuck my tongue out at him and he smiled slightly.

"Purple is like... it's for royalty. We consider it to be a grand, majestic color. Sweeping curtains, rich golden tassels on each end, haughty. It's smooth and silky. High-end, usually."

I stopped and pursed my lips. The color my mother wore quite a bit. Her nails, the clip in her hair whenever she picked me up. Her shirt when she was leaving.

"And?"

"Huh?" I blinked and looked at him.

"You were saying something?"

I shook my head. "That's it."

"Oh."

I nodded slowly, more to myself than him. Should I ask him again, or was it better just to wait. It's not like—

"She's purple."

"What?" My stomach dropped.

His eyes were soft, a light smile playing on his lips. Of course this was going to happen. He wasn't mine forever. I plastered a smile on my own face, suddenly very aware of my own breathing. "Who?"

The voice didn't even sound like my own. Too comfortable.

"A friend." He shrugged. "She's out of my league though."

I gave a hollow laugh. "No one's out of your league. That's a stupid phrase." I picked a string off my sleeve. "Mom always said 'We create our own reality. No one is above anyone else, we're just different. And if you want to close the distance, you just have to try.'"

He chuckled. "That's sweet. I guess I should give it a try, huh?"

I blinked and nodded silently.

"I'd better go. Drew and Antoine are meeting me at the mall today. Maybe if I go early enough, I'll catch up with Shannon." He rose up and swung open the door. I watched his feet, my eyes heavy. The stiff smile on my lips was cracking and I clenched my jaw. Go already.

"I'll see you later. Bye Cece."

I closed my eyes, swallowing as I rested my head against the wall. The front door swung shut. A familiar feeling from years ago stirred in my chest. I bit my tongue, remembering the day I let him find his own way back home. The heaviness in my chest that day. The way something knew I'd be broken. That same feeling told me this would be the last time I'd hear him leaving through my front door. The room was silent again. I kicked my book away. Whatever happens, just keep smiling.

I forced a smile on my face and the world turned to crystal, shining like diamonds beyond my watery eyes. Of course he was going to leave one day. I just didn't think it would be so quickly.

Come back.

I swallowed up the words, locking them inside my chest. There's no need for them now.

*****

You know what's hardest thing to do?

It's to stand in front of someone who is everything you've ever wanted, and wish them happiness. With someone else.

Your own face betrays you, you know.