Three months in, you’d think I’d be used to it. Used to the chores, used to the people, used to not being able to talk to Zayn every day. You’d think I would be, but I’m not, I’m still not. Zayn said ‘soon.’ Well, I don’t know what his definition of ‘soon’ is, but by my definition he should’ve been here 3 months ago. I swear, I can’t last another minute here and Zayn has been too busy with work to respond to my texts or answer the damn phone.
“I think he forgot about me,” I tell Pepper as I fall back, lying on my bed, staring at the wall where I’ve been taping up my drawings that I’ve done over the past three months. All of them consisting of things that have to do with Zayn and I.
“C’mon, Adi, I’m sure he didn’t. He’s just busy, the last time you talked to him, they were moving they’re probably settling in and everything, give it some time,” she says sitting down on her bed across from mine.
“The last time I talked to him was 6 weeks ago,” I say quietly. I’ve turned into such a softie since I met him, 7 months ago I never would’ve cried over a guy, or cried much at all. I would’ve just gotten through the day, then at night gotten high or drunk. Speaking of getting high, I miss my weed. A lot. Fuck, it’s been absolute shit without anything, Nadia only really allows us to drink water and juice. And by juice, I mean the fucking juice packets and Sunny D. It feels like we’re in damn preschool in this bitch.
“You’ll see him soon enough,” she assures me standing up and walking over to my desk, “Draw,” she says shoving paper and pencils into my hands.
“Not in the mood,” I say shaking my head. The truth was, I was in the mood, just didn’t know what to draw. Everything I thought of I could somehow relate it back to Zayn and it honestly pissed me off.
“Yes you are,” she sighs sitting next to me on the bed. I ignore her, turning towards the wall. I miss him, I miss him like-I don’t even know how to relate it to anything. It feels like I’m missing a piece of me that I never thought I could lose. It feels like I’m putting this puzzle together, but there’s always, always that one piece that somehow gets lost somewhere. Zayn’s that piece.
“I just want to see him, or talk to him, just once,” I whisper feeling a tear slip down my cheek and hit the soft comforter beneath me.
“Hey, you’ll see him someday,” Pepper says rubbing my back.
“I’m going to go to the bathroom,” I mumble sitting up from the bed. I walk out our room and practically across the hall to the bathroom. I shut the door behind me, and press my back against it, slowly sliding down the wall until my butt hits the cold tiles of the floor. I press my hands against my face, and finally let out a quiet sob. It’s been so long since I’ve cried, legitimately cried, and honestly, it feels damn good.
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“What are we making for dinner?” Jessie asks Nadia
“Whatever you want to make for your families,” she says shrugging. Tonight was the night that the families came, but I have no family and friends aren’t allowed. Therefore, Zayn can’t come. Pepper and I don’t have anybody to visit us, so we aren’t required to do anything but help cook the food that we won’t be eating.
I stand up from the couch, excusing myself and retreating to the kitchen. I put my hands on the edge of the counter and breathe slowly
“What are you doing?” I hear someone ask from behind me. I turn my head seeing Shelby standing there, her typical crop top hanging especially high today; with a low cut neckline, tight skinny jeans on leaving not much to the imagination.
“Nothing,” I shake my head, “just thought I should do the dishes before we start cooking,” I answer, flicking my hair over my shoulder and turning on the water.
