FALAHA'S JOURNEY: A Spacegirl's Account in Three Movements

Episode #40

A day was, of course, a lie.

It wasn't even half of that when the invasion of the Halo City began.

That day a fierce battle took place. But it was forever engraved into my mind as the Massacre of Dakha. Like insects drawn to and burned by the flame, the lights of the little people and my Baali brethren were disappearing one by one, until the last—and the closest one—burst out, the brightest of all, only to be muted by darkness.

I love you, Mother.

"Don't take the blame for not asking the Avlaora for help, Kané," she had said not long before, "they are in a tight situation themselves. Nobody would have come to protect us, even if you had asked. I know this because my requests were rejected by everyone long ago, when I recognized Dorgu." She hugged me, strong and warm. "And don't blame yourself for loving the wrong person; hold on to the feeling of being in love and thrive." Mother took me by the shoulders. She had a dangerous glint in her eyes—whoever was going to face her would have a tough time. "We are the children of Varga, this is our war. Whatever happens to us, to all of Dakha, don't let it stop you from what you need to do—"

Do it. Kill Shaamta. Become a great Sangu and create the path to reunite the children of Somg. Our blood of the Baali and the Lael will remain within you.

This wasn't even a war to begin with!

By the time I was standing on the hull of Dorgu's Enclave, facing several male Baali—Dorgu's children, who had waited there to escort me inside—I felt their greedy gazes on me, evaluating, appreciating. Yet I wasn't afraid anymore. And though I felt empty, it was also liberating—that emptiness filled the space the pain had resided in. I was alone now, but I wasn't lonely.

My war was only beginning and I had promises to keep.

You are a Sangu, Kané. Act like one!

I took the first step towards the males, then another, and another...

And there it was. From the depths of the Enclave something other was staring at me, following, feeling my every move, every step, counting my every heartbeat—still a single heartbeat. What a monster.

So we finally met.

My chances were tiny. The opportunity seemed so unpredictable that even I did not know yet when and how to strike. Though Shaamta wasn't hiding, getting through to him would be tough as his personal servants would be in the way. And as a Sangu, he would attack to destroy anyone who posed a threat to Dorgu or any of his kin. Right now he was only observing. So I needed either a good reason to approach him, and I had none yet, or a careful bait to lure him out into the open. Unfortunately, the latter—the most dangerous option—was also the most reliable one to get him for sure.

Was Dorgu actually warning me of Shaamta, saying my decisions might come a bit rushed and edgy? Was he worried I might try something like this? Deep inside did he fear I might die? However, it was unlikely he would make me a priority above everyone else on this ship. He wouldn't be the Yajur if he was so soft. After all, it was only the illusion of safety and strength he gave me that made me want to have his child. For that alone I could not forgive him, or myself.

I shouldn't stay fixated on it too much now. I should think about it when I have my chance. Otherwise Shaamta will know I'm hunting him. Maybe he already knows—so be it. Even then, my prospects aren't completely bleak yet. To kill me, he would still need to approach me close enough. I also doubted anyone would defend me—I was still a nobody to these Baali.

I was taken to a secluded place to rest and prepare myself for the greeting ceremony. Soon every dweller of the Enclave, starting with the oldest ones, would come to meet me and bring offerings. Dorgu would also be present at my open residence during all that time. The only person I had no idea about was Shaamta. It was the first time ever for two Sangu to live in one place together. Dorgu had met and taken over many of us, yet why weren't any besides myself and Shaamta present here? There was a possibility they were quiet and I could still meet some of them here, or could it be that Shaamta did not want any of the male Sangu other than him here?