FALAHA'S JOURNEY: A Spacegirl's Account in Three Movements

Episode #48

Though those could save us time, we avoided dives as we continued our journey through the tube. Baro and Eyuran were discussing Bradoh's system, while I dozed somewhere between reality and a dream, listening to their warm voices, their pitch and tempo, and the words they were saying. I also heavily missed my Node and the connection it allowed between Eyuran and me. We need to communicate with each other better. Turns out we're both awkward at this. It was not long before the dim blue lights of the controls became blurry in my field of vision. Even though we'd just had a short rest, was I really this tired?

If I was the enemy, where would I put my captives? Would that be a special secluded place, or someplace where everyone could see and observe? If I was to assume my opponent was Dorgu, my only clues could be the glimpses of his behavior—not much to work with.

Tell me, Falaighnn, where should I look? Where should I go?

I hadn't noticed how my mind wandered into strange dark corners, the corners I tried to shut away from everyone, yet since learning about Eyuran's parents' situation the barrier was broken and my thoughts stubbornly focused on Orewen and how much I've yearned to see him.

There is no such thing as love at first sight.

So when was it that I fell in love with Orewen? It wasn't in a moment or in a single day...

I always was careful about my feelings for him, because I never wanted to hurt him, Eyuran or my aunt. In truth I didn't know much about his personality, but I really wanted to, and I was very greedy about both Eyuran and him, secretly wishing for them to be mine and mine alone. Not even for a split second had a thought crossed my mind about seeing them separated. When this feeling took over, I usually went to hide in Rifa's garden to shut it up.

But it was him and Eyuran my soma first reacted to. It was them I didn't want to see sad, when Grandfather went to die...

Stop here and think, Falaha.

What were the conditions when you used Falaighnn? What were your feelings?

It worked with the Hunter, because I loved my grandfather, but I also loved Eyuran and Orewen. And these feelings were stronger than fear.

It worked with the hull repairer, because I loved Orewen and Eyuran, and that time it was stronger than fear.

I love Eyuran, but it did not work when Quennah was destroyed, because I was afraid and tired. It did not work the last time, because deep down inside I gave up too soon, thrown out of my comfort zone, and, perhaps, because I lost too much blood. My weakness almost cost Eyuran his life.

My beloved home star, Sla, the being who was in love with the Universe—the mesmerizing night sky, a place that one would definitely fall for. Both times that was the key to the interface—something deeply embedded in the sense of comfort and safety to be ourselves. And the 'reboot' in the bath... Falaighnn was giving me hints about it all along.

What exactly was the being that created this?

Soma, a very versatile system, sensitive to all changes. No, a system for someone who understands and controls their feelings and their body chemistry entirely. It is the system's strength and its weakness. The Enemy's weakness as well.

Soma was also Orewen's field of research. He continued it through the generations, like his mother and pretty much anyone else in his close bloodline, except Yaren and Anika. I had never met his mom; she was older than Grandfather and passed away twenty and a half years ago, the same time Orewen's father retired from the Explorer Fleet Commander post.