FALAHA'S JOURNEY: A Spacegirl's Account in Three Movements

Episode #41

I came to with the cool sensation of wet tissue wiping my skin. I could tell them out of a billion, the confident movements of Eyuran's gentle hands. We always bathed together, and I let him brush my hair. Uncontrollably, my body began to shake and I couldn't hold back the tears. All the tension and suppressed emotions that had piled up exploded at once.

"It's over, it's over," he whispered in my ear, nestling his head on my shoulder and caressing me. "Let it all out."

I felt his body heat: both of us were naked. Eyuran had undressed me to clean off the dried blood and it looked like he had nothing to wear either—our suits were damaged and probably useless now anyway. His metabolic rate is higher than mine; he never gets cold hands or feet. I'm not prone to extremely cold body parts myself, but his warmth is always so comforting. Yet right now he was slightly tense.

During regeneration his hair grew out. He usually wore it very short and now the gift from his mom, those thick, slow yet wild and persistent waves no comb could tame, were set free. Chest-long, they were darker, the color of yellow sand, near the roots and lighter, almost white, at the ends.

He raised his head and our eyes met.

There was something else different about him. I could tell just by looking into his eyes. The usual, undaunted and lively spark was gone. Instead, a dark and all-enduring flame ignited at the very core of his being. I've seen these eyes before, on the day of his trial. Something was tormenting him. His next words confirmed it.

"I will not even dare to ask for your forgiveness, Falaha. I was unable to make it in time and allowed such a horrible thing to happen to you."

I held my breath, not knowing how to comfort this person. Devastated that he had messed up, did he even understand what had happened to him? And what exactly had happened there afterwards?

It's not like I was feeling great, either. What could I do? Nothing much. Nothing at all.

My body and mind felt hollow.

I tried to run my Node, but it didn't respond. I suspected it had died or was somewhere near that point and shut down on its own. I was cut off for good now, and so much for my combat Mod... The depressing truth was that even slightly damaged Nodes don't survive in our bodies for long. Repairs need to be as quick as possible, or soma, however fragile, will destroy them as foreign objects. It happened to Mom's Node when her spine segments were damaged by shots.

Had Eyuran's Node suffered the same fate or had it been able to recover? And what did his Eater do to Bradoh?

I didn't like keeping secrets from my cousin. Yet, more importantly, how could I tell Eyuran this now, when he was doing everything he could all alone?

Instead of standing by your side, I constantly bring you trouble.

Without a word, I put my arms around him.

All but one thing has been taken from me.

"I love you, too, Eyu." I wanted to tell him this. I wanted him to know, because we really might not come out of this alive. I had to tell him before anything else happened, before we made more mistakes. I was so afraid I would never have a chance to do this. And after I said it, a heavy stone was lifted off my chest.

Little by little, Eyuran relaxed. But I wasn't sure my words reached him deeply enough yet. That's fine, this is how he is. All that mattered was that he was here with me, he was safe.

"Say, Eyu—don't you want to cry, too? You'll feel much better."

He paused, looking at me, deciding how to handle this question. He then answered very seriously.