Convergent

Chapter Ten

Tobias

I feel her heart beating faster and faster inside her chest, I feel her breaths on my neck, getting shakier and shallower, I feel her grip tightening on my collar. This is wrong. I know something is wrong before she starts wheezing, I know something is wrong even before her teeth start chattering. My arm around her waist is the only thing keeping her upright, she is unable to do so herself.

I don't see it coming. Her legs buckle out from underneath her, she sinks to her knees, she wheezes "Help" and her eyes roll back into her head, I hear someone scream, I hear someone else call for help, I barely hear them, everything sounds muffled. I dive for her, but someone holds me back, paramedics crowd around her and I scream her name till my voice his hoarse "BEATRICE" I fight against whoever is holding me back, then see her limp body, and all the fight goes out of me. I sink into the persons arms, unable to keep myself upright any longer, and sob, she is dying again, and this time I have to watch it.
***
They have her on a hospital bed, sleeping, she looks so peaceful. Tris is hooked up to an I.V and a heart monitor, she was dehydrated from blood loss due to her wounds, they don't know if, or when she'll wake again. I refuse to leave her bedside; if she wakes up and sees me, she will panic less; panic is not something her body can afford to do now. She is so pale, so thin, so frail, it worries me, she said no needles, wires, or hospitals, but she is very ill. I am afraid she will never be the same, she always trembles now, she is traumatized, you can't go through something like that and not be. Looking at her like this gives me such an empty feeling, this is the third time I've seen her like this, but this time she may never recover. I squeeze her hand, trying to give her all my strength, if I could I would put myself in her place, in a heartbeat, but I can't. I'm forced to sit here helplessly, as the one I love dies.
"I love you." I whisper, my words choked with emotion. I am cradling her head in my arms. "Please come back to me. Please come back-" My voice breaks. It's too much, all of it, she shouldn't have to go through this, any of this, we should be lying together in the city somewhere, away from all of this, and safe, safe. I hear the door fly open, and Matthew storms in, gasping for air
"IS IT TRUE? Is Beatrice-" He eyes the bed behind me
"Oh, Oh God, She-she's alive! But- she's hurt. What happened?" He demands
"She was in a coma... They experimented on her while she was unconscious... They don't-" My voice breaks and I am whispering now, I don't want to believe it, after two years of thinking she's dead, I have my Tris again, and now she's dying again, and I have to watch.
"They don't think she'll ever wake up, her body has experienced too much trauma as it is... Even if she does, she'll never be the same... Her mind is slowly destroying itself."

"Oh god, no not Beatrice. She-she didn't deserve all of this; she's lost everything and now even her own life."
Now anger burns within me, I grab him by his throat and slam his spine into the wall.

"DON'T SAY THAT! SHE WILL BE FINE! SHE WILL NOT DIE HERE, WHERE SHE DOESN'T BELONG! SHE WOULDN'T LEAVE ME HERE ALONE!" His face is turning pale, and I realize what I am doing, I jump back and he falls to his knees gasping for air.
"I am so sorry. It's just-" He stands up, with a cold look in his eyes that I've never seen in him before.

"Don't make the mistake of thinking you're the only person who cares for her." He gives her one last look, and then storms away.
I am shocked; I don't know what to do, or what to say.