Convergent

Chapter Eleven

Tris

Everything is blurry, the smell of antiseptics permeates the room, I can't move; my heart starts pounding in my chest. I fight against the restraints; they are chafing my arms, but I pull harder. I see three masses in lab coats moving towards me; trying to get me back into the bed. Then, through the haze of drugs, I see him, Tobias is pushing his way through the three people, they try to stop him. The first one reaches out; Tobias grabs his wrist and flips him, slamming him into the ground, with such force he is rendered unconscious. The next one to make a move suffers the same fate, and the third, scrambles out of the room. Tobias is here, he will save me. I think as he walks towards me. Tobias is hovering above me, I relax myself waiting for him to undo the restraints and help me out, he leans over and- tightens the straps. I violently scream.
"Beatrice, calm down" He says in a soothing tone. "Shhhh lie back down, relax." He says trying to ease me back into the bed.
"Traitor!" I scream "How could you help them experiment on me?"
"I'm not letting anyone experiment on you, Beatrice." He says softly
"If you're not letting anyone experiment on me then why do you have me under restraints?" I snap, His eyes are dark underneath, they are filled with worry.
"Your body went back into shock, the doctors-"His voice is choked with emotion "they didn't think you were ever going to wake back up. Your body has gone through more trauma than it can handle." His hand is rubbing my back, to soothe me, and the other is on my chest, gently pushing me back into the mattress. This time I let him, but stay upright enough so he can keep rubbing my back.
"I said I wouldn't let anyone hurt you, and I meant it, right now you're hurting yourself-" He whispers now, not as if it's a secret, but as if each word pains him.
"Beatrice if they don't scan you, if they don't remove the transmitters- you might die. There is no question about it, you have worn your body to the breaking point, one more incident and-" He chokes on his words "I can't lose you- not again. Beatrice please, please just stay here, and heal, it doesn't have to be here, after the transmitters are out of you we can go back to the old Abnegation sector, or Dauntless-" His voice breaks "Anywhere you want, as long as it's calm and you can mend there. Please don't leave me alone. Promise me-" Tears are streaming from his eyes and he buries his face into my hair. Suddenly I am fatigued, I know he's right, whatever experiments they did to me, are draining the life right out of me, the flame is still in me, the will to live, but it keeps getting dampened by what they did to me. I am weak, and can no longer hold myself upright for long, everything is cold, I can't stop shivering, I take shallow breaths, and worst of all I constantly tremble.

"I promise." I say, and for once, I mean it.
***

I must have fallen asleep; it is now night. Tobias is sitting in a chair, pulled up to the side of my bed; his head is hanging, and I see the muscles expanding and contracting in his back, he is asleep. I watch him, he looks so peaceful in his sleep, I haven't seen him like this in a long time, looking so relaxed, for once he looks as young as he really is, 20. At some point during the night he loosened my restraints; deciding to trust me, that I wouldn't try to escape, and I won't, I'm too weak and exhausted to even try. I wiggle my right arm out and reach for his hand, his touch brings warmth and comfort tingling throughout my body all at once. I wish this hospital bed was larger, so he could lye here next to me, completely enveloping me in his love, and surrounding me in his warmth, so that he could pull me close, and I could nestle my head into his shoulder, and so that his chest falling up, and down, could lull me to sleep. Holding his hand will do, I think to myself, last time I didn't have this comfort, last time I was completely alone, now I know that I will never be alone again, he will never leave me. He is breathing deeply; I concentrate on the rhythm of his breaths, in...out...in...out. I match my breaths to his, until I fall asleep.