Convergent

Chapter Seven

Tris

I wake to his arms around me. He is holding me close to his side; tightly, like he is afraid if he lets me go, even for a moment, I will disappear. How can he lye here, with his arms around me; holding me close to his side, after me betraying him like that? He sighs and snuggles up to me more; completely surrounding me in his warmth. I nestle into his shoulder, his smell; windy with a dash of mint, makes my heart ache, how could I ever have left him? He must have been so confused, being told that I have been dead for two years, then coming home to see me lying here on his bed. I love him, so much that it hurts. He is tenderly stroking my hair; he must be awake, I don't know if he knows I'm awake, he kisses my forehead, and lovingly runs his thumb over my cheek, he must know. Where do I begin? How do I explain everything?

I meet his eyes and before I can say anything he leans over me and fits his mouth to mine. We kiss. We kiss like we did after we finally could be together; after our escape from Erudite, it's a hungry kiss, I need him, and he needs me. He wraps both of his arms around my waist, and pulls me into him, I press my hand against his chest, and lean in, my other hand spreading over the small of his back; he doesn't feel as strong as he used to, like something was missing. My heart leaps; me, that's what he was missing, He still loves me. We stay like this for a while, and then we separate, panting.

"Tobias I-"

"I thought you were dead. I...I saw your body, you were ice cold, lifeless." His voice shakes with emotion. "They told us you died, you were cremated. I zip-lined off the Hancock building to spread your ashes, Christina, Cara, Shauna, Matthew, and Zeke went too." He jumped off a building because he loved me, I have no words. Suddenly his voice goes cold

"Do you have any idea how many nights I've woken up screaming, and sobbing your name? I don't sleep, I don't do anything, everything reminds me of you." He gets very quiet

"I attempted to erase myself; to erase the pain. I stole some of the memory serum from the Bureau, and a truck. I drove here, I cut my hair and put on all grey, I was going to become Tobias Johnson." He was going to rewrite himself as an Abnegation. "I was about to do it, when Christina came in, and do you what she said?" His voice breaks, along with my heart. "She said "This is not your decision, this is the decision of a coward, and you're a lot of things Four, but not a coward. You can't become a person she would hate, and she would have hated this. I know she wouldn't want you to erase her from your memory like she didn't even matter to you." When he is done speaking he collapses on the bed, hunching his shoulders. I don't know what to say, so I sit down next to him and wrap my arms around him, pulling him into me.

"I was in a coma-" I say quietly "The doctors thought I was never going to wake up. They didn't want any of you to have to go through another Uriah, weeks went by and there was no chance I was ever going to wake up; but they decided to let me stay on the machine until they needed it for someone else, I had no say in it." I am barely whispering now; saying it out loud makes it worse, makes it real. "I wasn't dead, but I wasn't alive."

As soon as those words leave my mouth sobs wrack his body and he is shaking so hard, that it's difficult for me to hold him.

"I never wanted to leave you."

"Then why did you-" His voice is ragged "Why did you leave me? Why didn't you let someone else go?" I know who he means, Caleb.

"Because I love him, he is my brother, and...And I told him once that I would never deliver him to his own execution, that was exactly what I was doing, it wasn't right. I never ever wanted to leave you; I thought of you...as I was getting shot, I thought it was all worth it if you were safe." He is now uncontrollably wailing, I hold him tight to myself, I will not let go.

"It's okay, everything's okay now. Your here, I'm here, that's all that matters. I love you Tobias." By this time I'm crying too, we are just a blob of sobs and wails. I nestle into him, and he starts stroking my hair again, we sit, side by side, each being comforted by the others presence. He buries his face into my hair and whispers

"I love you too Beatrice." And everything is right with the world again.

Authors note

Ahhhhhhh! I'm dying! Yesssssss!