Convergent

Tobias chapter twenty five

I am still a little shaken up from my encounter with David. I don't know whether to be upset that he fled like he did or relieved. Instead I just feel numb. I need to move; I need to go after him, but I can't bring myself to do it. He did what I wanted after all- he left, and I won't go back on my word. But if I see him again there's no telling what I will do as revenge for what he did to Tris.

And suddenly I don't need air to clear my head- all I need is her, Tris. It is a suffocating and desperate need.

'Tris Tris Tris,' I am walking back to the room and hear giggling.

'What the hell?' I open the door and see him. Matthew is leaning over and whispering something in Tris's ear,

Tris is in Matthew's arms, hugging him and giggling at what he's saying.

"What the hell is going on?!?" Matthew looks up his eyes as big as saucers when he sees me. Tris's eyes immediately look guilty and she starts softly

"Tobias, I can explain," 'Oh no- please tell me no.'

"Please tell me you didn't do anything like that..." She doesn't say anything- she doesn't have to, her face says it all.

"I can't believe you! How could you do this to me?" She reaches for me and softly mutters

"Tobias,"

"NO! Tris, do you have any idea what I have been through for you?!? I thought you died; I thought you were dead, for two years and yet I still waited. I refused to move on- to let you go, and THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME? I love you- I love you so much IT HURTS! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU!" She is calling my name over and over again, sobbing and pulling on my arm.

I am like a statue staring off into space. I cannot believe she would betray me like that... But I saw it with my own eyes. When I snap out of it I brush her arm off taking long, quick strides to the door, I need to get out of here as quickly as possible.

I hear her screaming my name from behind me, but I am already gone.

I get as far away as I think is needed and realize I'm at the room with the family trees. The room where Tris and I fought, and made up.

Tris.

The thought is to much to bear all of a sudden and with tears of anger and sorrow mixing on my face I stand up near a clean spot in the wall, clenching my fist and pulling it back. Bam!

The sensation of the brick makes my hand feel numb from the pain and I decide I need more.

I don't want to feel.

I want it all to stop.

So I bring my fist back harder, and slam it into the wall with so much force there is a small deny where my hand was.

I observe my knuckles and stare at the blood from where the wall split the skin, and release a choked cry.

I thought she truly loved me...

If she didn't then why would she have came back after she woke up?

I never doubted her love for me after all that she's said and done for me, yet what did it take for me to be convinced she's not and never did love me?

To see her hugging another man who was basically a brother to her. I knew he had feelings for her and acted out of impulse.

'I should have stayed and heard her out. I should have stayed...'

I'm internally beating myself up over how I acted, and I don't notice when a small figure slips in the room behind me. I am completely unaware until I feel her thin arms slip around me, her hands tenderly caressing the rough, broken skin on my knuckles.

I'm about to open my mouth and say something when she buries her face into my neck and whispers so softly I almost don't hear it.

'I'm so sorry.'