Let's Play a Game

Chapter 37: Remeber to Forget

Word Count: 1223

     I can remember a lot of things .  I can remember how to  count to 100  in Spanish, I can recite all 52 states in alphabetical order.  I can remember my first day of school, I can remember the first time Julian and I had our first play date. He came over to my house on a sunny Saturday afternoon. We played outside in the backyard. We played with chalk and in the sandbox. We dared each other to jump as far as we could off of the moving swings. I remember I taught him how to braid my dolls hair and how he didn't mind playing with "girl" toys. I remember we didn't  want to go back inside until my mother threatened to call Julian's parents to take him home that we gave in, he slept over that night. I also remember my first kiss. As pitiful as it was, I counted it as a good memory.

        I can remember other things too, like when I fell off my bike when I was only 8 and scraped my knees. I remember I got really sick one day and couldn't go to school for the rest of the week. I'd just lay in bed, throwing up whenever I ate anything. I also remember that first day of middle school where Julian pretended he didn't know me. Acted  like I was the crazy one. For a 11 year old girl that hurt. I can also remember all those lonely lunch periods where no one dared sit with me. I can remember the first text message I got. I was 13, the summer before high school. At the top of my stairs. I had been sitting there listening to my parents arguing when my phone had buzzed. I can also remember standing in that closet, not being able to breath much less move. How the gun shot hadn't even made me flinch. How they feel to the floor with a quiet thud. I remember the nightmares and endless therapy sessions.

Some things I hope to hold on to forever. Others, I wish I could bleach from my memory. Forget they ever happened, I wish they never happened at all. And right now it's the latter. Right now I'm standing in a barely lit bathroom stall staring at photos that I wish I could burn. Burn them from my memory. Burn them from their existence. Burn every last copy and then I could walk out of here freely.

But I'm stuck holding theses photos. Their burnt into my memory. I couldn't walk out of here and continue dancing with my friends. I couldn't forget whats staring right at me. Even if I could, I'd pay at the price.

The small bathroom stall had pictures tapped on every inch of the wall and on the door behind me. The same pictures everywhere. The picture was scattered on the floor beneath my feet, I was surrounded.  And I knew exactly what they  wanted me to do. It was perfectly clear but I wondered how I would bring my self to do it. I was staring at pictures of Maya. Pictures of Maya kissing a girl I didn't recognize in the back seat of a dark car. I don't even know how long I was standing until my phone rang. Breaking me from that hypnotic state I was in.

Unknown Caller

I hesitatingly press my finger on the answer button. "What is this?" I spit into the phone. I'm holding one of the pictures in my clenched fist. They laugh "Don't like the gift I got you?" Their voice sends shivers down my spine. It's mechanical and cold, I know it's been modified but this is the person who's been tormenting me but now they were going after my friends.

"How did you get these?' I asked quietly. I didn't even want to know. They had gotten those pictures from the party. They have been watching me for a long time. They've always been watching me. I needed time. I needed to get rid of these photos. I could rip these apart, burn them, flush them down the toilet. That wouldn't do any good. They probably had a bunch of digital copies, easily just print out more.

"That's not important right now" They reply. I stay silent, I could hear the low hum of the music from here. "But what is important" they reply "is that you do as I say or I have some other pictures that are worse. You wouldn't want those getting around too"

"What do you want me to do?"  I breath into the phone

"Your locker, go to it. There's a phone, send the picture to everyone in the contacts. Post it on the Instagram profile and the snapchat story" they hung up.

I'm staring down at my phone screen.

It buzzes and a little notification pops up

Unknown
10 minutes...

I put my phone in my bra and scramble to rip off all the pictures from the wall. I stuff handful's pictures into the toilet and flush them away. I drop down to my knees scraping pictures off the bathroom floor. Once everything is gone I check the time. I have 6 minutes. I stand up, dusting myself off. I'm rushing out the door when I bump  into someone and stumble back.

"Watch it you freak" a red hair snaps smoothing her hair down. I quickly realize that it's Isabelle, ducking my head down a little. "Sorry" I mumble and slip past her. I hear her mumble something about under class men being so rude and annoying.

Despite my heels I race down the hallway to my locker and fumble with the lock.

4 minutes.

I find the phone and turn it on the. The background is the picture of Maya and the girl.  I click on Instagram a profile pops up that I don't know. The thing is, it's one of those really popular accounts that over 5 thousand people follow. Most of the school was following it. 

How could I do this to one of my best friends. I felt sick looking at the picture, not because of what the picture was of but because it shouldn't exist in the first place. What kind of person was I if I basically pushed her out of the closet.

3 minutes.

I take a deep breath and click post. I left it caption less. This was better then letting them post worst pictures, I didn't doubt they had them.

2 minutes

I exit out of the app send the picture to everyone in the contacts. As I'm adding people to the group chat familiar names pop up. Hunter Higgings, Malik, Connor, Isabelle, Monica, even Julian.  Lastly I go on snapchat and post it to the story.

1  minute.

I turn off the phone, I'm breathing heavily. What did I just do. Was my identity that big of a deal? Was it really worth it? It was too late now. What I had done was done. I throw the phone to the ground and stomp on it breaking the screen.

I grabbed the water bottle in my locker and pour it all over the phone. I throw the phone away hoping no one ever finds it and head back to the gym.