Indecisive mess

IM SO MAD

hey you... Yes you sitting right there holding your phone... It's upside down by the way... Yeah your welcome
Anyway you read the title of the chapter right?
Well this is a bad way to start of our relationship but...I lied
I actually have a problem I ... RARELY GET MAD
Whenever I get into a little drama spat I just feel really sad and never that mad ??? HOW
I try being mad instead of sad because I feel like that's an easier emotion to be in ...state of mind wise.
Of course I at least feel a twinge of madness coursing through my veins going straight to my brain but it's more of a 'awwww I dropped my ice cream... Oh well' type thing

Like there hasn't been a time where I go full on hulk and attack someone and fight them to their death I'm not about that life.
I mean I am in the morning but that not the point.. That's just because I'm not a morning person.

gather around children I'm going to tell you a story about back in the day when I had gym we were playing the horrid game of VOLLEYBALL (at this point they should call it death ball tbh oh wait no... That's Dodge ball)
Any sport that has to do with balls should be called death ball.... Aw wait no that came out wrong now that I'm reading that back ohhhhh no

Let's move on....
We were playing death ball and each person had to take a turn with the coach to show us how to serve correctly. IN FRONT OF EVERYONE
Okay you can already see my problem here
1.) I have zero athletic abilities
The most sports activity I get is running to the bathroom to pee because I was too busy watching a YouTube video to get up in the first place.Might as well order life alert while I'm at it because this lazy gal right here can't get up.
2.) I'm a human catastrophe I am a walking,breathing flop of a mess anywhere I go. This leading to me being terrible at basic human interaction.
I always mess up i either fall (have a lot of experience with that btw) say something wrong or do anything that's embarrassing that's the bottom line. And that line is as low as my self esteem. Not to mention I don't do well in front of people at all ...all the stuff I just mentioned get a hundred times worse .
So the whole time while waiting in line to be my turn I'm freaking out I feel like I'm about to jump off a cliff when In reality all I have to do is serve and be on my way.
Dun dun dunnnnn (*cough* josh *cough*)
My time has come

YOU CANT SEE ME MY TIME IS NOW
Joooohhnnnn cENNAAA
No man I don't watch wrestling that much I just like him from Fred tbh
Anyway sidetracked sorry
I got up to my place with my coach and I had the death ball right in my hand getting ready to hit it as hard as I could to get outta there as soon as possible away from everyone.
As soon as I hit it it flies through the air like a frisbee would on a windy summer day but then soon came flying right back down as  fast as when you swat a fly dead.
IT HADN'T EVEN GONE NEAR THE NET.
Then when i thought I could leave I hear my coach scream at me in front of everyone
'GET MAD AT THE BALL!!!'
I told him I was trying but everyone started laughing including him while I stood there nervously laughing on my behalf. But i guess it was good natured.
So that's one silly story kinda having to do with anger... I have others but they are too deep for this book haha
Well I hope you all enjoyed this little story time type thing until next time BYE
PS: if you want more stuff like this please let me know ;)
Leave a comment pls
PSS: this was inspired by GlitterLover02 and i's conversation in his book you should go read it btw when you have time it's really good