BLAKE

Chapter 25

Blake

Christmas is coming in a few days and here I am, living in Joane's "house", standing in front of the mirror, watching myself as I'm about to go on a date with a guy I don't even love. 

Joane made me wear one of her many sexy dresses and for once, I have to admit that it is beautiful. It's a gorgeous tight black dress that stopped above the knee, though it is a little too plunging for my taste but still, it is beautiful. 

She has put my hair in a bun for the occasion and I feel like I'm looking to a different person in the mirror. Like a simple girl who's going on a date, like every other girl of her age. Joane has this power over me, she makes me feel normal. 

I put on a natural makeup, only wearing eyeliner and a light pink lipstick. I never liked wearing too much makeup. 

I looked at myself one last time thinking about Liam. Asking myself if this date is not a mistake. We haven't talked for days. The only times I see him is when he comes to school and I can't help but look at him even though I'd do anything not to give him attention. 

But I can't. I love him so much...

But at this point, I think I hate him more than I love him. 

I mean, what did he expect from me?

That I sleep with him when he has nothing better to do, like he and Joane used to do?

No way.

I want it all.

I mean... Wanted. 

I don't want to date a drug dealer, who knows what terrible things he does everyday...

This time, I won't come back to him. 

This time I will find a way to shut down my feelings.

I went out of the bathroom, and looked at Joane shyly, playing with the hem of my dress. She smiled wildly and told me that I was beautiful, which I didn't really believe but anyway. 

She walked me out and led me to Steve who was waiting in his car, outside of the trailer park. 

Entering the area when you're not a part of the gang would be suicide.

Warning him that he better take care of me, she smirked at me and then left, leaving me alone with my date. 

"I'm glad you decided to give me a chance." Steve stated as we sat at the table of a fancy restaurant. "I like you a lot you know... And I know what Tyler did to you wasn't fair, he shouldn't have told anyone those personal things-" 

I interrupted him, somehow tired of always repeating the same thing over and over again. "See that's the point, we never slept together. Everything he said was a lie. But nobody ever asked me my version of the story." 

"Oh... I'm sorry, I didn't know... I really thought he-"

"Yeah, cut the details please." 

"Sorry..." He swallowed and opened the menu. I did the same, letting an awkward silence take place. 

"You know," He looked at me again, "I'm sorry I believed him. He's my best friend so of course I didn't question him." I shrugged. What can I say anyway? "But, I'm not like him. I would never do such a thing and I actually don't understand why he did this to you. I mean, you two were together for a long time..."

"I don't know. I didn't want to sleep with him, that's why we broke up. He was probably angry after me. And then," I looked down, memories hitting me like a knife in the heart, " Then he dated Lauren. You have no idea how much it hurt me. Everyone turned against me, and the girl I thought was my best friend started dating him. And as if it was not enough, I had to watch them every single day." I sighed. "At that time, I needed him more than anyone, you have no idea... I loved him so much but... I guess he didn't care about me. In the end he only wanted to have sex with me."