Sensibilities | Deetranada AU

recluse

The Next Night

(Dee POV)

Dee sits alone in her bedroom, her television on mute, her notebook on an empty page. Her pen rests beside her hand but she doesn't reach for it, her mind centering on one thing, Nova.

As if ignoring him during the day wasn't already hard enough, seeing him during lunch only made it worse. She kept to herself, much like JI did, not participating in the recap of their weekend and their plans now that they felt fully trained to take on their careers.

She sighs, rubbing her eyes, wishing for sleep to come. A quiet knock on her door surprises her as Jermaine walks in. He sits on her bed, his usual smile gone. She tries fake one herself but can't, her body refusing to listen. 'You good sis?' he asks. She nods, hoping that it's enough.

'You gonna tell me what happened this weekend?' She looks up, his jawline set as he waits for an answer. 'What you mean?' she says, her voice wavering. 'You've been actin' different since we got back.' She says nothing, looking away, barely registering the images on the television. 'I'm giving you a chance to tell me the truth.'

She sucks her teeth, spilling out a censored version. 'Nova lor girl kept pushin' me, tryna act like she was bad so I put her in her place. She got mad and we got into it.' His mood darkens as he scolds her. 'Really, Dee? I thought we got over the fighting shit.' 'I didn't say we fought, I said we got into it.'

'That's not what Roscoe said.' He a fucking op man, damn. 'We ain't even really fight, she just stood there and I mushed her,' she lies. After I rocked her shit. 'And what'd he do?' he asks, his mouth stretched thin. 'What was he supposed to do?' 'Stop you from fighting her.' She rolls her eyes, annoyed at the thought.

'J, you ain't hear what she was sayin' to me.' 'That's not the point, Diamond,' he yells. She's startled but tries not to show it. 'You can't keep letting what somebody say get you to that point. You supposed to be beyond that.' She starts to speak but stops, unsure of how to defend herself. 'I'm just tired, man. I'm not gonna keep lettin' everybody get away with that shit.' She continues, ignoring his attempt to scold her for cursing.

'It's like every time I ignore it, they keep going. I tell 'em to stop or put 'em in they place, they still keep going. They don't learn 'til the get laid out.' Jermaine shakes his head, disappointed. 'What if that gets out, 'Deetranada beats up another rapper over rapper's boyfriend?' You'd have another label on you before you even get started.' 

She huffs, cracking her knuckles. 'I know Jermaine, damn. I wasn't thinkin' about any of that. The shit she was saying...it was foul.' She feels tears welling but pushes them away, refusing to cry over someone's words again. Jermaine places a comforting hand on her shoulder.  

'I know you wanna get back at them but you can't keep doing this. The fightin', the drama, it gotta end now.' She looks down at her still bruised hand, Nova's band-aid replaced with a Dora the Explorer one. 'Yeah,' she mumbles.

He says nothing else, watching her. She continues looking down, not able to hide her emotions much longer. He sighs, starting to stand. 'Make sure you eat, Ma got pizza.' She nods, waiting for him to leave. 

He stops at the door, turning back to her. 'Love you,' he says, sincerity ringing through. 'Love you too,' she responds. The door closes and she falls back on her bed, pulling her pillow over her face.