Sensibilities | Deetranada AU

penitence

That Same Afternoon

(Nova POV)

Nova and Nia sit beside each other, close but it's as if a brick wall sits between them. She nervously plays with her fingers, clearing her throat in hopes of conversation. It doesn't come.

He continues staring into space, his mind blank, his emotions suppressed. 'I knew you were with her,' Nia says, her voice low. 'You didn't even deny it.' He remains mute, her words meaningless to him. 'You smelled like her, that chocolate bullshit.' He closes his eyes, the scent coming back like a memory but he suppresses his smile.

'Why her?' she asks. He sighs, breaking his silence. 'I didn't do--' he attempts. 'I didn't ask what you did, I said why her?' Because she's everything you're not. 'Why him?' he counters. She looks down, unable to produce an answer. 'I'm not dumb, Nia. I know something happened.' 'I was mad, you kept defending her,' she explains. 'You're supposed to be my boyfriend, defend me, look at me.' A tear starts to fall on her cheek and she brushes it away quickly.

'I was gonna tell--' 'When,' he snaps. 'When you got back home?' More tears start to flow but he doesn't let up. 'You made me look stupid, in front of everybody. How I let my best friend get with my girl and everybody know 'bout it?' 'Nobody else knew, Nov! And you can't be mad when you and her were fuckin' around too.'

'I would never disrespect you like that.' She chuckles, wiping the last of her tears. 'Word? So what happened Saturday night?' He shakes his head, 'Nothin' like what you did.' 'But something happened?' He offers no confirmation, resuming his silence. 'Exactly. So it is what it is, we both fucked up and now we move on.' She takes a deep breath as if the discussion is over. 'So what you wanna do tonight? I heard there's a teen club--'

'I'm not sittin' here actin' like everything's okay,' he interjects. 'It's not, I don't even wanna be beside you right now.' Her face contorts as she tries to fight back more tears. 'I'm not tryna be mean but you can't expect me to just be okay with this. Yeah, I kissed her but damn Nia, you fucked my best friend.' 'I didn't have sex with him!' she cries out. He stares, hoping that she's telling the truth, but he can't be sure.

He sighs, lying back on the bed. She follows, nuzzling on his chest, her tears wetting his shirt. 'I don't want it to be over,' she murmurs. He says nothing as she continues. 'Just stay with me. We can finish the week, you and me.' She sits up, her eyes hopeful. 'Please, Nov?' he hesitates, his heart screaming no but his mind unable to translate it. 'I..I don't--' 'I just wanna call you mine one last time.'

She traces circles on his chest, his eyes closing at the feeling. 'Stop, Nia,' he requests, moving her hand to the side. She does, throwing a mini tantrum as she moves away from him. Here we go, all over again. 'I'm not askin' you for much, Nov. I just wanna finish this with you. You don't have to be with me after, it's fine, I get it.' She turns around, her eyes filled with anger, his guilt growing with each word.

'I'm willing to do this despite what you and that bitch had but you can't even get over a mistake.' She stands, storming toward the door. Let her go, it's not even worth it. She grabs her bag, swinging it over her shoulder and moving to the door. No, Nova. Don't you do it, let her go and go find Dee. 'Nia, wait, just,' he says to his own dismay. 'Let's just go out, make today better.' 

She turns, a bright smile on her face. She races back to him, giddy as she hops on his lap, planting kisses on his face. He doesn't hear what she says, his mind already tuning her out.