Sensibilities | Deetranada AU

approximate

(A/N: Trigger Warning - There will be a permanent trigger warning for the rest of the book. The rest of the book may include brief mentions of negative speech about self-harm, self-harm, depressive language, sexual content and violence. Sections included any of the following will be noted with centered bold stars should you choose to skip it. Enjoy!)  

The Next Day

(Nova POV)

Nova leans his head back, closing his eyes as he imagines her. The way she smirked at him as he walked into the room. The way she bit her lip when she introduced him. The way she said his name with a childlike awe that made him never want to be called Nova again. And you fucked that up.

He opens his eyes, leaning forward as he tries to get Dee out of his mind. He bites the pad of his thumb, as if distracting himself will be enough. You're such a fuckin' idiot. He shakes his head, willing his conscious away. Who says some shit like that. 'Didn't mean it like that,' he mutters aloud. But you said it, and you ain't even bother sayin' sorry.

He stands, frustrated. 'Need to get outta here.' He picks up a shirt from his bed, starting to put it on. As it passes his head, he smells her, the shirt covered in her scent. He breathes deeply before taking it off. He rubs his face. Get it together, Nov. There's a knock on his door before it opens. 'What time you goin' to Dee's?' Ekko asks. He looks away, sitting on his bed. 'Not going,' is all he offers.

'Oh, okay. You good?' Ekko asks. Does it look like I'm good? 'Yeah, I'm good,' he says. Ekko stands for a moment, observing him. 'Wanna talk about it?' Not with you. 'Nah,' he states. Ekko nods, starting from the room.  He lies back, trying not to relive their argument for the sixth time today. But it happens anyway. He gets stuck on the same part every time, the words repeating constantly. 

'You ain't no fuckin' better than him.' If I wasn't, you'd still be what you was before. He sucks his teeth, trying to push it away again. He sits up, staring at the floor. Is she right? I told Staci no but...it's not like she's been the only one that tried. No stop, you said no to all of them, you not like him. Then why do I feel like it?  'What you do this time,' Lexy says, closing his door behind him. She sits on his chair, staring at him, waiting for a response.

He sighs, looking up. 'You want the whole thing or just the fuck up?'

****

Simultaneously

(Dee POV)

Dee, Latto, Jae and Peach sit at different stations at the nail salon in various stages of their girl's day out. Dee and Latto sit at the dryer, both waiting silently. 'Stop thinkin' 'bout it,' Latto says. 'I'm tryin' to, not like I wanna sit up here all sad and shit,' Dee responds. She drums the counter with her fingerpads, wishing that they were done already. 'He call?' Latto asks. Dee shakes her head, looking down at her notification free phone.

'Do you want him to?' she asks. 'Yeah. No. I don't know man,' Dee says, her confusion evident. Latto sucks her teeth, checking her nails before snatching Dee's phone. 'Stop, man,' Dee yells, leaving her hands in the dryer. 'Nah, you not gettin' it back 'til you open ya mouth and tell me what the fuck he said,' Latto replies. 'I'm not tellin' you,' Dee states. Not tryna have you go crazy on him.

'Why, you scared I'mma fuck him up? 'Cause I'mma do that regardless,' Latto jokes. Dee chuckles. Yup and that's exactly why. 'Just talk to me, sis,' Latto pleads. Dee looks at her, everything starting to fill her throat, rushing to be spilled with her tears. A patron sits beside her, startling her. She gives her a small smile before turning back to Latto. 'I'll tell you later.' Latto nods, checking her nails again.