Sensibilities | Deetranada AU

fallacious

(A/N: Trigger Warning - Negative self-harm discussion. This chapter briefly includes negative speech about self-harm.)

Continuous

(Dee POV)

'Wait, so Jermaine killed me,' Nova says, biting into a chicken nugget. Dee nods as he continues. 'And Nia killed you?' 'Pretty much,' she replies, dunking her fries into her sauce. She leans against the siding of her house, the television playing from her open window. It's late, the dead silence in the neighborhood eerie but she feels no fear with Nova by her side. 'It was like everybody that don't like us was tryna murk us at once,' she explains, taking a nugget from him. He scoffs as she dips and eats it with a smile.

'Shit, I'm surprised Myra won't there,' she adds. Her eyes widen at her slip of the tongue. She grabs her drink, hoping that his stare is for more sensual reasons. 'Why would she be there,' he asks. ShitFuck. 'Nah, just all my friends was there so I don't know...' her voice trails off, unsure of how to continue lying. Instead, she takes a handful of fries and stuffs them in her mouth, taking her time to chew.

He chuckles, taking a sip of his drink, waiting for her to finish. She does, starting for another handful but he moves the container. 'You always do that,' he observes. 'Give it back,' she says, reaching for the container. He moves it out of reach, her stretching useless. 'Nah, focus babygirl.' He gently moves her back to her original position and she looks down, sensing what's to come. Let it go, Juli.

'You always get like this when you talk about her,' he explains. She shrugs, flicking her nails. 'She's supposed to be ya best friend, Diamond.' She can see his hand coming into view, attempting to lift her chin. She slaps it out of the way, her eyes glistening. Please...stop. 'She is,' she says plainly, holding back the hurt in her voice. 'Can I have my fries back please,' she asks softly. 'No.'

She sucks her teeth, crossing her arms and pouting but she stops almost immediately, the position making her tears want to exit more quickly. Instead, she rests her head against the house, pulling her knees to her body. She pulls her hands inside her sweatshirt pocket, inconspicuously fidgeting with the clasp on her watch. It opens and her wrist feels some relief but she quickly closes it, needing the release again.

 'You still haven't told me what happened,' he says, scooting closer to her. He takes her hand from her pocket and holds it, using his other hand to remove hers. He sees her watch open and gently closes it. He says nothing, waiting for her to finally speak. She hesitates, unsure of where to begin, unsure if she should even begin. She flicks her nails, trying to find a safe explanation.

'Nothin' happened, it's just weird. One day I was there, the next I was leavin' and barely told anybody,' she says quietly. 'But you don't get like this with Kiana,' he interjects. 'Ki different,' she explains. 'We didn't know each other that long. Plus she won't really my friend, my friend. She was Myra's friend.' She couldn't even sto-- 'What aren't you telling me, babygirl?' Everything.

'Nothin' Juli, I just...need some time to get ready to see her again,' she says finally. He frowns, staring into her eyes. She's frozen momentarily, knowing that he sees right through her. She looks away, feeling the truth on the tip of her tongue. He leans toward her and gently kisses her cheek. 'Tell me when you ready, okay?' She nods, cupping his face and giving him a gentle kiss in return.

He smiles, passing her back her fries. She dips a few, taking a bite but the enjoyment is gone. She puts them in the bag, lying across his lap, her back to his chest. He rubs her shoulder as they listen to Adult Swim, comfortable despite the risk. She closes her eyes, the warmth of his body next to hers bringing her closer to sleep.