Paper Hearts ▪ Lams

9

January 1st, 2013

Alexander's Bedroom

8th grade

//and I just can't reach out to tell you that I always wonder what you're up to//

John woke up the morning of New Year's Day with a large hangover. He groaned and rolled over in the bed that he was in, not bothered to figure out where he was because of the immense pain in his head.

But when he rolled over, he bumped into another person in the bed. He froze, his mind spewing out ideas of what could have possibly happened.

The first thing he did, although he is only 14, was check to see if his clothes were still on.

Oh thank god.

He couldn't afford to make any more mistakes.

He had already drunk seriously underage and poured his heart out to two complete strangers; whom he figured were now his friends. Then Alexander had come in with Eliza – wait what were they planning on doing?

Was Alexander really going to give himself up at fourteen?

John shook his head. Alexander would never do something so stupid.

John felt the person next to him start to stir awake. He looked to his side, but he couldn't open his eyes; the light was too bright and it hurt his head incredibly.

"Good morning," he heard a voice say.

John's face heated up and his heart fluttered, "Alexander?"

"Yeah?"

"What happened last night?" John tried to sit up, but the pain in his head kept him down. He felt Alexander's hand rub the top of his head comfortingly.

"Well," Alexander started, "I went home to Eliza's house last night to watch a movie with her before I went back to my own house. But when we entered her room, I find you and her two sisters drunk out of your mind on their floor!"

John cringed, his voice was getting louder, and it wasn't helping his headache.

"John, what the hell were you thinking?" Alexander asked, his hand pausing on John's head.

John groaned from the loss of comfort, "I wasn't, okay? You wouldn't understand."

Alexander ran his fingers through John's hair, only making John want to hold him more, "But I can try to! I'm your best friend, John. Did you do anything with the Schuyler sisters?"

John furrowed his eyebrows, "What do you mean did I do something with – oh my god!" John sat up quickly, a wave of pain following quickly, "You seriously think that I'd be one to do that, Alexander?" he said, probably a little too loud given the pain he was in.

John had finally opened his eyes, and they were not full of rage, but of hurt. But if you didn't know what pure pain looked like, you would've mistaken it for anger.

"You seriously peg me as one of those guys?" John asked, his hand on his chest.

Alexander was taken back, and slightly scared. He had never seen John so angry.

Oh if he only knew that he was just hurting.

"No! No, John!" he said, waving his hands frantically, "It's just that the situation looked bad, and you were drunk out of your mind and-"

John interrupted before Alexander could finish, "And what? You assume that I'm the type of guy that would get drunk at a girl's house just to get into her pants? I may not be as smart as you, Alexander, but I'm not that low."

"I know, John, I know," Alexander placed his hand on John's knee, which made tears spring to John's eyes, "But what in god's name were you doing at the Schuyler's house, drunk on the floor of the sister's bedroom with Angelica and Peggy at almost three in the morning?"

John sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "Angelica offered alcohol, and offered to be a friend. So, I went and Peggy tagged along. Besides, Angelica's aromantic and Peggy's lesbian, there's literally no way that that'd ever happen," John chuckled slightly.

"Really? That's cool!" Alexander said with a smile.

"Yeah, they taught me all about the different sexualities and genders last night," John explained.

"Really?"

"Yeah," John continued, "Angelica saw me at the dance and offered to hang around and it was brought up about dates and I asked her if she had one and she said she was aromantic and I asked what that was and a couple minutes to midnight she asked if I wanted to come over and learn all about the LGBTQIA+ community and it's amazing!" John beamed, his arms springing out to his sides.

Alexander chuckled, "I know, it's pretty cool."

John smiled at Alexander, wanting nothing more than to hold him tightly.

"Look," Alexander started, rubbing the back of his neck, "I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions. I know that you are an incredible guy and would never take advantage of anyone, even when you're drunk. But why the hell would you get drunk in the first place? You're only fourteen!"

John put his head in his hands, "It doesn't matter now."

"Last night," Alexander said, "You said that you liked getting drunk," he paused and took a breath, "because it took the pain away."

John felt his breath hitch; he didn't remember that part.

He chuckled nervously, "Man the things people say when they're drunk."

"John," Alexander looked at him worriedly, "Everything else you said was legitimate. You may have been drunk, but you still had your mind in its place."

John met Alexander's eyes with a sad smile as Alexander finished.

"John, are you okay?"