Paper Hearts ▪ Lams

21

May 29th, 2017

The Miranda Ballroom

Senior Year

//I hate this part, paper hearts//

Alexander sat in a chair, watching couples take their places on the dance floor, swaying in beat with one another.

He looked at his hands, tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

He regretted going to the prom. Why did he even come in the first place?

He had been watching John all night. He would go to the dance floor and join the Schuyler sisters for a few songs, then return back to the same seat and stare at the crowd.

Alexander avoided John during this dance, not wanting to face rejection. It didn't help that John looked stunning. He wore a white button down shirt with a black suit and a green tie, Alexander's favorite color. He pulled his hair back neatly, letting his curls spring free in the back, but keeping it clean in the front. John had even got George and Martha to watch Martha and Jack that night. And there he was, sitting alone.

John watched Alexander all night with tears in his eyes.

Anytime he saw a couple hand in hand walk by him, he would look at the floor, avoiding people's stares. He danced with the Schuyler sisters a few times, but they had only made him laugh momentarily.

He longed to dance with Alexander and pull him close, but there was so much space in between them.

They were so close, yet so far.

It didn't help that Alexander looked gorgeous. He wore a black button up shirt, covered by a white suit and a blue tie, John's favorite. He pulled his hair back neatly in a ponytail. Alexander never let his hair down.

Alexander had left John an emotional mess that night.

John had left Alexander a sobbing wreck that night.

They were so close, yet so far.

John picked himself up one last time, heading over to slow dance with Peggy. He had promised her his last dance.

"Leaving so soon?" Peggy asked as she wrapped her arms around John's neck.

John held her waist and started to sway, "This is absolute torture, Peggy."

"John, just go talk to him. He looks like a wreck!" Peggy said, nodding her head towards Alexander.

"No, I can't," John said harshly, "He doesn't love me, and I'm going to have to learn to live with that."

Peggy rolled her eyes, "You're both so goddamn oblivious, it hurts."

"No, Peggy. He's oblivious and I'm just a love struck fool who thought that he would have a happily ever after. But life isn't a fairytale, and I'm stuck waiting for something – anything, to happen," John shook his head and looked at the floor.

Peggy tilted his chin back up with her fingers, "Hey, listen. You are worth so much. Please never forget that."

John nodded and hugged her as the song came to an end.

"You never forget that as well," John smiled softly as he pulled away.

Peggy chuckled, "I won't, John. Thank you."

John nodded and turned towards the exit.

Alexander watched John walk out the doors and into the dark parking lot.

Something inside of him snapped.

"Go get him," someone whispered. He looked up and found Eliza standing next to him. Alexander smiled and nodded. He sprinted for the doors and ran out the building.

He found John sitting on a curb in the front of the main entrance. Alexander snuck behind a pole and planned out what he was going to say.

Would he confess his love? Or would he just ask to dance? Would he be straightforward? Or would he ease into it?

His planning was interrupted when he heard John speak. He seemed to be taking something apart, but Alexander couldn't make out what.

"He loves me," John said softly, "He loves me not," his voice cracked.

Alexander felt tears rise to his eyes as he watch John repeat these two sentences, each word becoming more shaky than the last.

"He loves me. He loves me n-not. He loves me. He loves me n-not."

John's body perked up as he made one final motion with his hand, "He loves me."

Alexander jumped when John started to laugh. But it wasn't his normal, light hearted laugh. It was a sad laugh.

"Yeah right."

Alexander felt his heart break as he watched one last white rose pedal fall to the ground.