Paper Hearts ▪ Lams

14

October 31st, 2015

Lafayette's Bedroom

Junior Year

//our life was cutting through so loud//

It was almost midnight and John sat next to Alexander on Laf's spare bed in their bedroom.

"Remind me why Laf has this extra bed in their room?" Alexander asked.

John shrugged, "They said it was for sleepovers when they were little. We had them all the time over here, remember?"

Alexander smiled, "I remember."

John smiled back, remembering the countless memories they all made in this bedroom. They would stay up past their bedtimes and sneak downstairs to make popcorn and play ninjas vs. spies at four in the morning, only to sleep through the next day and miss breakfast.

"That was such a long time ago," John said quietly. Herc and Laf were asleep on the bed across the room, holding each other tightly.

Alexander leaned his head back on the wall facing John, "We were only ten back then, and here we are seven years later."

"Still together," John finished.

Alexander picked his head up and smiled at John, "Yeah, together."

John blushed, but it was canceled out by the dark room. He smiled shyly at Alexander.

"We're graduating in a year, Lexi," John said.

Alexander's heart fluttered. He hadn't heard that nickname in awhile, and he missed it dearly, "I know, it's crazy. We're going to college and going to get jobs and then start families of our own."

John closed his eyes and smiled; he and Alexander creating a family was something he thought about often.

"Do you ever think of who is going to be in your future?" John blurted out. He did regret asking it, but he wanted to know Alexander's answer.

Alexander smiled, "Well I know that I want you three in it. And I want Martha and George to stay in it, so they can meet their grandchildren."

John sighed, "Yeah, I want to keep y'all as well, but think about it; if Laf and Herc make it all the way, they're going to run off together and create their own happy family. Where are we going to be then?"

Alexander looked at John worriedly, "Well," he scooted closer to John, placing a hand on his knee, "If they do leave us, I will stay right here by your side."

John smiled widely, "Really?"

"Yeah, we're best friends forever," John's smile faded softly, "We made bracelets when we were ten, so of course it's legitimate!" Alexander joked. John chuckled.

"Do think we'll be okay on our own?" John asked, leaning his head back onto the wall again.

Alexander sighed and mimicked his actions, "I think that we'll stay together, even through the tough times, and I think that that's enough."

John smiled and wrapped his arms around his torso, hugging himself tightly.

He turned his head towards Laf and Herc, who were sound asleep with smiles on their faces. They looked so happy, and John longed to hold Alexander in his arms and wake up to his smiling face.

"They're so happy, damnit," John thought aloud.

"Yeah, it's sickenly cute," Alexander said, watching the couple sleep as well.

John looked at Alexander, who looked down at his phone again, and scrolled through his messages. John smiled softly, watching the beautiful man that lay right beside him. It would be so easy to just pick him up and hold him in his lap. But Alexander wouldn't like that, and Alexander's happiness was put above everything in John's book.

He lay down and covered himself with a sheet. A tear rolled down his face as he dreamed of what could be, "Good night, Lexi."

Alexander looked up from his phone, finding John with his back facing him. He watched as John's breaths became heavier and more evened out, signaling that he was asleep.

Alexander watched the steady rise and fall of his chest, wanting to slide in his arms and relish in the warmth of him.

But John wouldn't want that, and John's happiness went before his.

Alexander sighed and lay down, his back facing John's. A tear trailed down his cheek as his eyes closed and he whispered.

"Good night, love."