[✓] LOVING HIM ━ tk.

[ONZE] new

JEON JEONGGUK

it was already two months since jimin and taehyung became a couple. i erased taehyung's contact because now he was happy, without me. none of his happiness came from me, and they will never. i couldn't fake a smile but i could keep my feelings in.

i wanted to tell jimin that taehyung deserved me, and not him. to tell him that i loved him first, not you. to yell out how much i loved taehyung.

i wanted to picture us together holding hands while walking down a boardwalk— but the sight of me was erased and replaced with jimin.

school would be starting in a week and it would be the first time i would be seeing taehyung after that night.

the days after i had cried so hard that my parents almost sent me to therapy. i couldn't get over taehyung no matter how hard i tried. he was my first love, my everything.

every night i would have flashbacks of our memories together and all the times we spent together, whether it was at the gym or at six flags with jimin.

and that night i let go of him, i regreted everything that i had done.

i wish i never left hoseok, namjoon, and yoongi for him. i wish i never caught feelings for taehyung and i wish taehyung never existed. he'd be the bane of my existence and i knew that i'd die because of him.

i'd be alone because of him.

"jeongguk." my mom said, as she sipped on her wine.

it was dinner and everybody sat around the table. when i meant 'everybody' it was just me, my dad, and my mom. i had no silblings because my mom stopped having kids after my birth.

growing up i had been alone, but i had a good group of friends. i didn't have neighbors to play with because my house was separate and a private home. you had to enter a six digit passcode to pass the gate and you also had to pay for a parking ticket.

"jeongguk," my dad called, breaking me from my thought.

i cleared my throat and loosened my tie. "yes, father?"

he looked at my mom before looking back at me with a disappointed face. "we heard what happened, about taehyung and your boy problem. look, it's been two months already since you've seen him! you should talk to him and get him back. i- we hate seeing you like this."

my mom nodded, adding: "taehyung wants to come over tomorrow for dinner, we invited him. say yes or no, he's still coming."

i let out a short breath and smiled. "mom? dad? if you loved me.. then you would cancel the dinner. i have struggled for two months trying to get my life back together. taehyung has been the source of all! of my problems! if i even look at him, i can assure you that you won't see my face the next morning."

my father swallowed and sighed. "don't say that, son. you-"

"taehyung caused me to be depressed, dad." i spoke up, looking at my plate.

"that's not his fault, son. that's yours. you caught feelings, it's your responsibility." he said with a stern voice.

i shook my head, not listening.

"i hate kim taehyung."