[✓] LOVING HIM ━ tk.

[DIX-SEPT] where did they go?

KIM TAEHYUNG

i swallowed as i walked through the doors of my highschool. i knew that senior year would be shit but i wouldn't have to deal with it after today. i walked to my locker and opened it, placing my backpack inside and grabbing my books for first period. i closed my locker and i turned around, seeing the familiar person open his locker behind mine.

my heart instantly broke, seeing him. he was doing fine, but i was slowly breaking. after today i knew i wouldn't see him so i had to make the most of it. i walked up furtively to him and tapped his shoulder, my fingers shaking as i pulled them away.

he hummed, "hm?" as he turned around and his face went dull after seeing me.

why is he like this to me? i played with my fingers and thought about what i should say.

"i told you to stay away from me," he said with a strong voice, almost angry. "you don't listen do you?"

"i-i'm sorry. i know you hate me because i chose jimin when you loved me but hear me out, guk." i said, with pleading eyes. he sighed and looked around before returning his attention back to me. i swallowed and breathed in. "it's not my fault that i chose jimin and not y-you. we loved each other and i was unsure of how i felt about you while you confessed. definitely, i had feelings but they weren't confident ones. i didn't feel the way i did with jimin with you.. but after i caught jimin cheating on me i realized how much i loved you all along. i know i'm too late, but i-"

"you can stop there, get to your point." jeonggik coldly said.

i nodded and gulped. "my point is.. i.. love you. but after today.. nevermind."

he laughed, "now? you tell me now? well, i'm sorry taehyung but you're too late to be confessing. i waited for you but you never came back! two months," he took a breath. "two months you ignored me."

"don't act like that was my fault! you blocked my number, you asshole! you don't know what i'm going through right now and yet you're complaining about the past!"

"wake up, taehyung! the past is affecting the present right now! maybe if you came back to me then life would have perfect for you, yeah? maybe you could be with me, and we would have been a sunshine couple while you left your cheating ex behind. but you didn't taehyung," he sniffled, "you didn't even do the least, or anything to be my friend."

he was right. i had so many chances where his parents invited me to come over because jeongguk missed me but i rejected all of them because i was with jimin.

"i'm sorry, jeongguk. i fucked up.. i always do anyways, right? i should just leave so you won't have to deal with me." i said on the verge of tears.

please just don't give up on me.

he breathed in and looked down, then back up to me.

don't say it..

"you should, it'll be better for everyone if you were gone." his words pierced my heart and i felt tears blurring my eyes.

my nose stung and i looked away from him, inhaling a loud breath and turning my head back to him. "i'm sorry, i'm sorry that i was such a bother to you. i'll be out of your life from now on."

with that i walked off, leaving him confused. i was so done with everything that was going on. it felt like i wasn't even living my life anymore, i wanted to just let go and fall. i wanted to be free of worries and be peaceful.

where did people go when they killed themselves?

-

guys i'm so sorry oh my god i'm in tears writing this i hate myself goodnight