[✓] LOVING HIM ━ tk.

[QUATORZE] regret

JEON JEONGGUK

i closed the door, drowning out the yells and scolds from my parents. i fell back onto the bed and tears escaped my eyes as my body shook violently as i cried. i hated this. i wanted to just leave everyone and move away. i hate the way i've become because of him, but i just can't seem to let go. i know i'm hurting him but i don't know how to make him feel better. all i do is ruin everything!

broken sobs filled every void of my room and morose and regret hung in the humid air. i turned around, tears soaking the white pillow i slept on every night. i'm sorry, taehyung.

i felt like i couldn't breathe. i love him to death and i can't let go— but i can't hold on forever.

"god, what have i done?" i cried on for what felt like hours. "you're so stupid, jeongguk. i fucking hate you!"

i got up and threw my lamp on the glass mirror, and i watched it shatter so beautifully. i looked at myself and saw the salty liquid slide down my cheeks slowly.

i'm sorry.

somehow every time i thought about taehyung my heart just shatters and i start to bawl tears and i find myself at the edge of breaking. i knew i kept hurting him and that i should be the one to heal him and comfort him but i can't stop. not right now. isn't it true?

you always hurt the ones you love the most.

| taehyung's point of view

i drove myself home, tears staining my cheeks and my vision blurry. i blinked, hoping that as i drove in the pitch black, my eyes would clear of tears and i would be able to see again. i drove slowly, not wanting to get in a car accident.

i wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my undershirt and ripped off my blazer.

"i love you so much, jeongguk. why would you hurt me?" i said with hiccups in between. everything was my fault.. i trusted jimin to love me but he got bored of me and had other relationships behind my back. i could have been wrapped up in jeongguk's arms, cuddled up with him in bed right now.

it was true that i loved him at first sight.

i kept on driving at a consistent speed until i reached the roads that i knew at the back of my head and i drove faster.

"i..i.."

i finally reached my house and parked in the driveway, running out of the car and wiping my eyes with the sleeve of my shirt again.

"i hate you!" i yelled as i ran inside my room, locking the door as soon as i got into the house. "i hate you so much.. that i love you."

that night had been filled with endless cries, heavy thoughts of jeon jeongguk and the realization of park jimin.

i picked up my phone and dialed his number with a tremor in my hand. i couldn't keep my damn hands from shaking.

"hello? taehyung.." jimin said with a raspy voice.

i breathed in and closed my eyes. "jimin hyung.. we're breaking up. i'm sorry.."