[✓] LOVING HIM ━ tk.

[DIX-NEUFF] jeon jeongguk

SONG: the fray - you found me

THIRD PERSON

his fingers weakily pressed against his phone screen as he dialed jeongguk's number. hopefully he was unblocked but if he was, then he would just leave a letter.

"pick up, guk.." he was impatient.

he waited for three more minutes, redialing his number but jeongguk wouldn't pick up. taehyung didn't know that he was actually in bed, ignoring taehyung because he thought it would just be a complain like earlier that day. jeongguk sighed and tried to go sleep, but he heard a beep and he picked up his phone hoping it wasn't taehyung.

it was, but a voicemail.

relieved that he didn't have to actually talk to him, he pressed the play button and listened to the voicemail that would change him forever.

"hey jeongguk, it's me, taehyung. i know you're not picking up.. maybe your phone is dead or you're somewhere else." the older's voice gave chills to other's spine but he continued listening.

all of sudden he heard taehyung sob and jeongguk furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "i'm sorry jeongguk, i've told you a million times but i-i-i feel like it's not enough for you. i hope that you're happy without me, and i'm sorry for me bugging you all the time.. i just.. you're the only person i can cling to right now. i have a few minutes to talk because jimin hyung might come but i have time. by the time you hear all of this, i hope you understand the reason why i killed myself."

jeongguk felt a lump in his throat as tears began to collect, and they dropped to his white shirt. "taehyung.."

"the main reason why i wanted to do this is because i was.. i was just so done with everything. i was so tired of being the one no one cared. i was so done with history repeating. it started when you told me that you never wanted to see me again.. i just broke right there. i was hoping that we could continue off of where we stopped but you told me that and i felt like the world was shattering above me. i was broken, jeongguk. you didn't care, you thought it was normal because i was already a depressed boy, right? when you first met me and had doubts of being my friend?" taehyung took a pause and breathed in and out. "i really thought that i loved you.."

jeongguk was full on crying as he looked out the window. taehyung was about to kill himself, only three houses down. he looked around in panic and ran downstairs, keeping the voicemail on.

he ran out the door, running in full speed, tears leaving behind a wet trail, and he heard the rest of the words taehyung wanted to say.

"i'm sorry jeongguk.. i have to do this.." he heard taehyung's weak and grainy voice. "i love you so much.. my first love."

jeongguk wiped his tears with his sleeve as he kept running. the house was so far away even though it seemed close, but in reality it was like two neighborhoods away.

"don't do it, i'm coming taehyung," he yelled only enough for him to hear. his eyes were red and his blood was boiling.

he finally reached taehyung's house and he dropped his phone on the doorstep and tried breaking open the front door.

the banging on the door didn't go unnoticed to taehyung and he started to cry, knowing that jeongguk was at his door.

he started to cry, broken sobs and screams as he tried breaking down the door. "taehyung!" he yelled, pounding his body against the door. "don't do it, please,"

jeongguk cried endlessly and slid down the door, his hands bloody and bruised. "i'm coming for you, please wait."

he gave a last throw and the door flew open, and he ran inside, dashing up the stairs only to see the bathroom occupied. he knew he was inside, waiting.

jeongguk started banging on the door and taehyung's tears came faster, and his legs started to give out. the younger boy heard the loud thump and he let out a loud sob, pounding his fist to break the door.

"don't even try.. i-i.. i took twenty-three pills already thirty minutes ago jeongguk.." taehyung's soft voice gave jeongguk a will to keep moving. finally the door knob broke and jeongguk ripped open the door, to see a lifeless boy laid down on the floor, his eyes opened slightly.

he fell to the floor and cupped his cheek as taehyung slowly started crying again. he moved his hand to reach for taehyung's, and he tried to feel his pulse, but it was weakening as time went by.

"you'll be better off without me, jeongguk," taehyung sniffled. "let me have peace, please!"

the younger shook his head, "why did you do this to yourself?"

tears streamed down the two boys's faces, before taehyung spoke up. "i did it for you. you said it yourself.. it'd be better off if i was gone."

"i didn't mean it like that! god, you're so stupid." jeongguk screamed, angry at what taehyung had done to himself. "i love you so much, taehyung. how c-could you?"

the older gave a powerless chuckle and shook his head. "where were you when everything was falling apart?" he asked, trying his best not to cry. "my life was a mess, jeongguk. i thought it would be better for me— for everyone, if i was gone."

jeongguk shook his head as he cried, and pressed his lips against taehyung's chapped ones, the feeling of salty liquid drip down to their lips. taehyung kissed back and tangled his frail fingers into his hair.

the younger pulled away and grabbed taehyung's phone to call the ambulance. taehyung saw this and gripped jeongguk's wrist, trying to pull the phone away.

"no.." he cried. "all of my success.. all this.. i could have.."

jeongguk proceeded to give information and the dispatcher reassured him to be calm and breathe. he ended the call and looked at taehyung with needy eyes. "i can't believe you did that," taehyung gritted his teeth.

"i had to, you're slowly dying!" the other protested.

"isn't that progress?" he retorted, clenching his fist.

jeongguk wasted no time and pressed his lips against taehyung's lips for the second time. this time, it was almost like a kiss of lost hope, broken promises and sadness. like.. a kiss of goodbye. taehyung kissed back, running his hands along his shoulders, relieving into the kiss. jeongguk ended it with one last chaste kiss, and he looked into other's eyes.

they were full of shattered dreams and disappointment, hurt and pain. and he was the one who caused it.

"you're gonna make it, okay?" jeongguk said, to reassure him.

taehyung shook his head slowly, liquid pouring from his eyes after his abdominal area started to clench. "j-jeongguk.. it hurts.. i can't feel my l-legs.. it's working.."

jeongguk's faced turned into horror and he immediately cupped both of taehyung's cheeks. "no, don't say that! we were doing so well.."

taehyung gave an exhausted smile and cupped jeongguk's cheek with one hand.

"remember me, jeongguk. don't forget about me, okay?"