Love Will Remember (Camren)

Chapter 12: Ugly

*Camila's P.O.V*

I woke up and the strong sent of amber and vanilla filled my nose.  That's Lauren's perfume, why would it smell like that?  Unless last night wasn't a dream?  "Lauren?" I said sitting up, opening my eyes, realizing I'm in my ex girlfriend's bed.  The sunlight blinded me and my head began to pound.  The room was spinning so I laid back down, groaning while clutching my head.

"Shh baby," Lauren whispered, massaging my temples, "I know it hurts.  It'll get better."

I tried to smile at her but I snapped my eyes shut and just groan again.  Suddenly the smell of coffee wafts through the room.  I feel nauseous but try to push it away.  The scent gets stronger.  I get out of the bed and run into Lauren's bathroom, heaving into the toilet.  Soon I feel someone holding my hair back and rubbing my back as I puke.  It must be Lauren.

I collapsed onto the floor and Lauren grabbed me, pulling me into her chest, and rocking me back and forth slowly.  She began humming quietly in my ear like she always does when I'm upset.  A few tears fell from my eyes and Lauren kissed the top of my head.  "Lo Todo va a estar bien mi amor." Lauren whispered in the thick Hispanic accent that sent chills through my body.

"Are you sure?" I asked, barely audible.

She nodded, "Everything will be okay." she repeated but in English this time.  Her accent was still prominent meaning she must be scared.  I began to sob even more, pulling myself from Lauren's arm so I could puke again.  When I finished vomiting and was hyperventilating resting my head on the seat, Lauren took hold of me again.  "Why are you crying, Camz?"  My heart leaped at the sound of my nickname Lauren had given me.  I shrug.  "Come on," Lauren urged.  "You can talk to me Camzi.  What's going on through that pretty little mind of yours?"

I sigh, "I can't tell you."

Lauren frowns and narrows her eyes at me, "Karla Cabello.  Tell. me. what's. wrong."

"Lauren it's just," I paused trying to think of the right words, her face softened.  "I love you so much." With that I began to cry the hardest I had that morning.  My breathing is unsteady and I started gagging.

"Baby, breathe." Lauren whispered, kissing the back of my neck. "I love you too.  I don't understand why you're crying?"

When I settled myself I spoke again, "I don't know if I can do this anymore Lauren."

"Do what baby?" she asked lovingly.

"This.  I don't know if I can go back to you," I sighed. "And I want to be with you, because I love you so much.  But I don't know if I can."

Lauren dropped her grasp on me and scooted away. "Oh," was all she said, looking down, acting like the tiles were the most interesting thing in the world.

"Lauren, we've had so many issues in the past." I say trying to get my thoughts together.  "I just don't think I can put myself through all the pain you've put me through again.  I mean, Lauren, I know you have bad days, I know you have feelings and issues you can't control but don't ice me out.  Talk to me.  It hurts when you shut me out of everything, you were my girlfriend, you're my best friend, it's what I'm here for.  I can accept you for your mood swings as long as you let me know what's going through that beautiful mind of yours.  It's just so had not knowing what's wrong.  I feel targeted.  Plus, you cheated on me and I went through the pain of that twice.  I know the second time wasn't even true but I still went through that horrible pain and heart break."  Lauren didn't say anything, she just looked at me blinking tears away.  "So Lauren, the only way I'd even reconsider being with you again is if you tell me what's going on.  Why'd you shut me out?  Just please please tell me."