Let's Hurt Tonight//Jaegan FF [COMPLETED]

1 - why me?

Justin's POV

"Blankly I stared at the empty white wall in front of me, while I sat cross legged on my bed, ignoring the world around me. Everything in my head was louder, more forceful, more painful, and was fucking impossible to ignore.

Random thoughts kept running through my head, thoughts no 16 year old boy should have, but they were running through my head like a freaking marathon. The one that kept recurring;

Why am I not good enough?

I just couldn't get it out of my head. I have absolutely no friends, I'm riddled with anxiety and depression, I'm constantly staring into space allowing the demons to rip my thoughts and flood in with ones about negativity.

I closed my eyes, clenching them escaping into the world inside my head. The world was painted black and gray, occasionally some white.

I walked down the endless path, which seemed to lead me back to the place I began at. Once I walked down the endless path like seven times, I heard creepy and icy voices laugh and some where screaming.

I opened my eyes, breathing deeply. I refused to be in that world anymore, so my eyes opened to the reality of the world where I am hated for being myself.

"Justin, dinner is ready," My dad came into the room. I sighed following him downstairs. My mom and my older brothers, Danny and Damon where sitting around the table. They all weakly smiled at me, knowing I was probably on the risk of having a break down.

I remained silent throughout all of dinner, allowing everyone else to talk. But they all froze once my dad stared at my mom then to me and my brothers.

"So we have this retreat in work this week," He began, and all of us listened, including me for once.

"We can only bring one of our children with us, and I was thinking maybe I would take Justin," My dad said. My brothers didn't seem to mind that my father was going to take me. I just stared at my dad.

"Why me?" I asked for the first time today. I barely speak and when I do, its either to answer questions or to speak to my parents.

"Because you seem a little down in the dumps sweetie," My mom said pitifully. I looked at her, with a raised eyebrow.

"You should go Justin, it might help you," Danny spoke up and looked at me. Damon nodded along with my mother and father.

"And you'll never know until you try," Damon added onto Danny's statement. I looked at them, then to my parents.

"If you can bring one kid, that means more kids there, and that means my anxiety levels will be through the roof, I'd rather not," I muttered and Damon sighed.

"Justin, just go," Damon snapped making all of us look at him. "We want, no, fuck that, we need you to get better, not to cure all of your depression or anxiety, because they will always be there, we just need you to go out and live a little, to get better just that smallest bit, just go, try get better, because trust me, one day, we will wake up and see you dead and I don't wanna see that," Damon finished. My mom had tears in her eyes, my dad was holding his nose with his fingers, and Danny completely agreed with Damon.

"I didn't know that," I whispered so quietly that I barely heard it myself. Damon just nodded.

"We are terrified for you," He spoke softly. "Just go, try make a friend, and if anything happens, dad will take you home right away, right dad?" Damon asked dad, and he instantly nodded his head.

"Can I think about it?" My family nodded at my question and then I went back upstairs to my bedroom. I flopped down onto my bed, letting the silence creep into my room, and my mind was on mute as I thought about my fathers offer.

-

Raegan's POV

I ran downstairs once my father called me down. My siblings all in the living room, playing x-box.

"Yup?" I asked, taking a bottle of water from the fridge and opening the cap.

"Work has a retreat and we can bring one of our kids along, wanna go?" He asked and I shrugged. Considering I'm the oldest of us all.

"Sure, it will get me out of the house, is it here in Maryland?" I asked and he nodded. I nodded back to him, before walking into my siblings, causing them to involve me in their game of FIFA.

My littlest sister, Morgan, she's 8, she was yelling at my brother, Daniel, because he was cheating on the game, I agreed with her because Rizzy was helping him.

"Morgan, give me the controller and I'll help," I told her before me and Rizzy got into the game of FIFA and each time one of our teams scored, the kids would yell and cheer.

-

Justin's POV

I was laying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, with my phone on my chest playing some Coldplay songs, when Damon and Danny came in and sat on the bed.

"Are you okay Justin?" Danny asked, once I was sat up. I looked at him and Damon to see that they were worried as hell.

"I could be better," I sighed and they nodded, understandingly. "So that's why I decided to go on the retreat with dad," they both looked at me with wide eyes.

"I want to get better, I want to live," I muttered. They both embraced me into a massive hug, we just laid on my bed hugging one another, listening to my playlist.

"You have some emotional songs," Danny laughed. Me and Damon laughing in agreement.

"Maybe you're emo," Damon added, causing me and Danny to laugh.

"This is why I love you guys," I told them, as we smiled and hugged one another again.

-

A/N
Idk Raegan's siblings names so I'm gonna make up some names.... yeet

- b x