Let's Hurt Tonight//Jaegan FF [COMPLETED]

10 - two different people.

J U S T I N 

When I walked into my bedroom for the first time in six months, the room with bad memories began to haunt me. I stayed in the door frame,looking at the bed where me and Raegan once slept, I looked at the wall I punched repeatedly to stop myself from hurting myself but ended up with busted knuckles and a few broken wrists, I looked at the window, the window that was the only good thing about this damned room. 

"Hey Jay, are you okay?" Danny asked coming up beside me, I hummed before walking into the room, and closing the door in Danny's face. I rolled up the long sleeves of the white top I had on, and instantly got tot work. 

I stripped my bed sheets, chucking them into a corner that is now resevered for the shit that ever hurt me. After the bed, I tore all the images of bands, and pictures of family members and Raegan from the wall, leaving it completely bare. I put the bed sheets on the ground beside the wall which I punched repeatedly. I took out tins of paint that was in my room, and a paint brush. 

I dipped the brush into the snow white paint, trying to cover the blood stained wall. I tried several times to cover the blood but nothing worked, so I opened the ocean blue colour and began to sloppily cover the wall with it. This time it worked. Before I knew it, two walls were already painted blue and the other two were white, I decided to leave it like that as I changed my room around. No one in my family interrupted me, I don't think they wanted to, but I didn't care. 

It must of been midnight by the time I was finished and my room was changed. I could barely see the struggle or pain the walls hid, but deep down, I knew the pain was still there. I sat on the chair which I put beside the window, looking out and stared at the glowing stars like I have done for the past six months. 

For the first time in my life, I began to think there is actually a future for me and not a future of pain. I smiled happily staring at the moon. 

"Goodnight moon, goodnight you," I wished the moon a goodnight before leaving the chair. 

-

A week has already past, and thankfully, the world seemed to be working in my favour for once. When I got back to school, I gained four new friends, Bryce, Jackson, Tyler, and Mikey, and they don't care about the fact I am trans or if I was in an insane asylum. They liked me for me. 

Today, I stood outside the asylum, waiting for Mika. It turns out she could come out early due to over crowding and because she shown sides of improvement. I waited for my best friend nervously, rocking back and forth on the heels of my feet. 

The gates opened, to reveal a slightly pale Mika, but her natural hazel hair whooshed in the air as she ran towards me. I smiled, allowing her to jump into my arms. She laughed as I twirled around in a circle, hugging her tightly. 

"I missed you so much Joostin!" She smiled as I put her on the ground. I smiled and shrugged. 

"I have that affect on people Milo, but I missed you too," I chuckled as I threw an arm around her shoulder, leading her to a cafe where Jackson worked. Usually me and the four guys would hang out there, but today, Mika is going to be hanging out with us. 

"Oh Justin's brought a girl!" Bryce said as if he was like a child, covering his mouth and pointing at me and Mika. Me and her laughed, shaking our heads. 

"Nah Bryce, I still like dick, and Mika likes the woman thing," I said as we sat down beside Mikey. 

"Its called a vagina Justin, or if we are getting technical, a pussy, like you," Mika smirked patting my head as the three other guys laughed at us. 

"Where did you get this one?" Jackson asked looking at Mika with a smile. Me and her looked at one another then to the guys. 

"The insane asylum," we both said in sync, and they shook their head, looking at us. 

"We don't judge, so don't worry," Mikey smiled at Mika, making her at ease. Thats what I like about these guys, they don't pressure anything on you. If you want to share, you will, if not they will still be there for you, no matter what. 

-

R A E G A N 

Its been a week since Justin broke up with me, and honestly I feel like shit. 

I should've visited him, but I never did. Everything I had done in my life for the past six months was about me and not my boyfriend, who was in an insane asylum, fighting for his life. I sighed kicking a stone on the path before freezing in my place. I looked through a window of a cafe. There he was. 

Justin was sitting down with three other guys, with his arm around a girls shoulder. He looked happier, he looked more at ease and not in pain. I guess he never needed me. I always felt like Justin needed me to remain on the surface, but now here we are. 

He's way past the surface and I am drowning in sorrow with no one to grab my hand and pull me back out of the endless pit I put myself in. 

Justin didn't look like his normal self, because his normal self was depressed, and completely dead inside. But now, he was basically glowing with a happy smile curled up on his face as he laughed along with his new friends. 

I shook my head, continuing to walk down the path that seemed to be more broken and unsteady, while he was walking on a completely new cemented path with flowers growing on the side. 

We are two different people, and we will never be the same. Not even remotely. 

- 

next chapter is a year later, sorry not sorry. 

OH AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAEHYUNG (V) FROM BTS!!

- lots of love, b x