Pain (Danti) UNDER EDITING

Chapter 46

1 month later (Sensitive stuff. Just a warning)

Again I woke up with dried tears on my face. Almost every night I've cried myself to sleep. Either that or I would have a dream about Dark making me cry during the night. Pill was standing in my doorway with a cup of tea. He handed me the cup and left the room. That's another thing that happens. Pill told me that tea will help calm me in the mornings. So far it's worked. 

I drank my tea and got dressed. Ban exited the bathroom letting me inside. First I brushed my teeth, then I put on deodorant, I fixed my hair a bit, then locked the door. Under the sink, I had a pocket knife that I took from Dark's house. I sat down on the toilet with my arm in front of me. Tears dripped from my face mixing with the blood on my arm. 

Tears fell quicker as I continued to cut my arm. I switched arms cutting up the other one leaving lines running across my arm. For a while I watched my arms bleed. My tears kept falling on my arms making the cuts burn. I rolled down my black sweatshirt sleeves hiding the cuts that covered my arms. The same thing every day, wake up cut before I go to bed cut. Quickly I wiped away my tears unlocking the door and walking down the hallway to meet up with Ban and Pill. 

We walked to school quietly. Lucius was standing by the gate when we arrived. I tried to walk past him but he blocked me. 

"You don't want to go in there," He whispered. Ban and Pill continued to walk but quickly turned around. They didn't say anything they just stood next to me. I pushed past Lucius to see Dark and Cat. Dark was down on one knee with a ring out in front of him. Cat was crying tears of joy. I stepped back covering my mouth with my hand. Lucius looked at me with sadness. 

I bolted. Ban called after me but I just ran. Tears spilled from my eyes again. 

I'm done! I don't deserve to be here! Everything I do just screws up someone else's life! I can't do it anymore! Dark forgot about me so what's the point of living! He just proposed! To a girl, he was tricked into loving! I hate myself! I hate my scars! I hate my eyes! I hate my powers! I hate my shortness! I hate my smile! I hate my laugh! I hate my green hair! I hate everything about myself! 

I rushed into Dan and Phil's apartment running into the bathroom. Pills...pills...pills. Where are they? Finally, I found a Tylenol pill bottle. The bottle was about half full. That was enough. I unscrewed the cap pouring a handful of pills in my hand. Quickly I dumped the pills into my mouth swallowing them. I took another handful swallowing them too. 

Everything around my started to become fuzzy. The pill bottle dropped from my hand onto the cold tile floor. I stumbled back tripping over my own feet falling on the floor. The door swung open and shouts followed after that. Everything around me blurred, darkness surrounded me ending the light that shined in my eyes.