Changing Love/Axl Rose/

Chapter 28

! Trigger warning, suicide/overdose !

It felt odd to be back, but it's a feeling that I will never in my days forget. This town made me feel safe, but yet very uneasy.

Standing there in duff's arms, on top of the hill, overlooking the stars in the sky. I think about all the things I want to say, but never will, because I'm enjoying this peace and quietness; it's giving me comfort.

All of a sudden, the bad memories appear into my brain and I hold on closer to Duff.

"What's wrong?", he asked

"Nothing". I shake my head. "Nothing, I'm fine"

"Sure?"

"Yeah absolutely"

"Let's head back to the guys"

"Yeah, alright"

We arrived back at the venue, all I wanted was to push chemicals through my bloodstream. I found some heroin in my bag and the needed supplies. I got to an empty room, and broke down crying. It felt good to finally have some alone time, people don't understand how much I hate myself. I can't picture myself as a grown woman, fuck this imma kill myself.

I overdosed.

It was all over now. Finally.

Me, alone, in a corner, crying, and slowly dying.

But then, the door opened, I couldn't see who it was. When my vision got clearer I saw that it was Axl, but then my eyes fell shut.

I imagined he'd just leave me there, he didn't care. Did he? But then I heard him yell;

"Somebody call an ambulance!"

I'm confused. Why doesn't he just leave me laying here, after all that I've done to him. After all the drama and the hate I've got him into. He must hate me, he bloody has to. At some point I had found some strengt to open my eyes, I was still in that corner, but now there were plenty of strangers around me. These people lifted me up and the next thing I know is that I am in an ambulance. It was chaos, a lot of people were talking and yelling. I closed my eyes again and decided not to open them for a while.

--Slash's pov--

I feel an unreal amount of pain. The girl and I always laughed when we were together, this OD can't have been planned or intended, and if it was I will hate myself forever for not noticing any signs of suicidal thought. She was always smiling . I can't comprehend this, neither can I cope, not even through music.

I really hope she recovers from this, not that the doctors can do much, but I've lost too many friends to drugs already, and Sky is the most special person in my life. I can't fucking lose her! Even though she is not gone, and she won't go, I miss her, I just don't want to imagine life without her.

"Slash, you coming?" I heard a voice, I looked up, it was Izzy.

"I need some time"

"I understand" Izzy said while walking up to me. He pat my shoulder.

"I just can't comprehend, she's always so happy" I said

"Yeah well, you don't know her like I do, and i just talked to Axl and Duff, apparently she acts different to all of us." Izzy got me confused. "It's like she's got all these different types of personalities" he added as he lit up a cigarette.

"To me she spoke about depression, and she did to Duff and Axl as well, but just on different levels." he said.

"Why not to me then?"