Hands All Over

Ch. 51 Fire

Angela stared at the crackling flames as they licked the sides of the small cardboard box. That was her brother in there or at least a part of him. She'd gotten over the initial shock and tears and was left feeling numb, empty. She just couldn't believe he was gone. She hadn't even gotten to say goodbye. It had all just happened way too fast. Happy had explained that Kozik had stepped on a landmine. A landmine of all things! Kozik had survived a war in a foreign country only to be killed by a landmine in his own. It wasn't right, it wasn't fair. How could this have happened?

Sons had been coming in and out of the crematorium to say their goodbyes despite the fact there'd be a small memorial the next day. Most of them wouldn't attend. Death was harder to come to grips with in the light of day. Cowards, she thought bitterly. She had to admit she was surprised Happy was still standing there at her side, watching the flames. He didn't do grief. She knew that well. When her father had died, he'd disappeared for a day before coming back and acting as if nothing had happened. She'd asked him what he'd done, where he'd gone, and he just told her he got away and left his feelings there.

She could feel Juice's worried gaze on her back. After holding her in the shower until the water had gone cold, he'd tried to get her to talk about it, to stop her from cremating Kozik that night to keep her stress level down since stress was bad for the baby, but she'd pushed him away. She'd seen the hurt in his eyes when she'd refused to talk it through, when she refused to cry anymore. It wasn't that the tears weren't there. They were, but she was done crying. It wouldn't bring Kozik back. She wished Juice understood that, wished he would stop worrying about her.

In all honesty, Angela was annoyed by both of them. It was probably the hormones, but the fact they both seemed more worried about her than upset about losing Kozik was pissing her off. They'd seen it happen! Shouldn't they be a little more upset? All of SAMCRO should be there paying tribute to him just as they'd paid tribute to Donna. Hell, the bodies they'd burned the first day she'd met them had gotten a better send off! She understood they were in deep shit with the cartel, but Kozik was one of their brothers. He'd died helping them. And where were they? Getting drunk somewhere or fucking some stupid Croweater, no doubt. Her anger at the club started to build as the fire started to wane. It was all SAMCRO's fault. If it hadn't been for the stupid MC Kozik would still be alive. He'd still be whole.

A cold breeze blew into the hot room as the door opened again. She didn't turn to see who'd walked in, but she did feel a rough hand on her shoulder, the cool metal of the rings on his fingers sending chills down her spine. She flinched at the touch, clenching her fists in an effort not to swing at whoever's hand it was. A second passed before she heard the voice that went with the rough, ringed hand, "Give me a minute."

Juice looked hesitantly at Tig who hadn't taken his eyes off the fire in front of them. He didn't like the idea of leaving him alone with her. Especially not after the way Tig had treated Kozik prior to his death. He was worried as hell the SAMCRO SAA would say something to upset her. Happy clearly did not share his worry. The Tacoma killer just nodded and headed out. "Angel," Juice said, trying to catch her attention. She flinched again, as if the words hurt her.

" 'm fine," she ground out through clenched teeth. Juice locked eyes with Tig briefly, trying his best to convey a warning through his look before he walked out of the crematorium leaving just Tig and Angela alone in front of the fire. Once he was gone, Angela glanced briefly at Tig. "Come to spit at him?"

Tig smirked at the anger in her voice. He'd seen it as soon as he walked into the room, though it'd been clear his other two brothers hadn't. He recognized that dangerous look in her eyes. It was eerily similar to the look Happy had before he put a finishing bullet in someone's head. "Nah," he assured her, holding up Kozik's cut. "Came to put this in with him. You mind?"