Hands All Over

Ch. 110 A Mess

Ten days. That was how long it had been since Juice had last seen his wife. Ten days. Eight since he'd last seen his daughter. He was keeping track now, storing it into his brain as if there were a certain number of days until he saw her again. There wasn't a countdown, though. This separation was open ended as they waited for a chance to get away, and it was driving him crazy.

He turned the shower on in the guest bathroom, pulled the door closed and waited for the steam to fill up the room as he sat down on the closed toilet next to it. If he closed his eyes, he could pretend she was there with him, taking a shower while he talked to her like he always did. "I'm going to figure this out, Angel," he promised her, tilting his head back against the mirror as he looked up at the skylight above him. "We're going to get out of Charming and go to the beach. Away from all of this shit, baby. You 'n' me 'n' Eves 'n' Rigs. The rest of the kids can come meet us there later. They're old enough to figure out how."

Sighing, he ran a hand over the sides of his head, his usually smooth scalp feeling prickly under his palms. It'd been awhile since he'd last shaved. He didn't have an image to maintain any more, didn't need the tattoos to make him look tough. "I just want to get out of here," he rasped, swallowing hard. "I want us to be a family. That doesn't make me a coward. I didn't do anything wrong. I'm not...I'm not running out of fear, I'm running because I just...I want to live. I want my family. There's a difference. There's gotta be. I'm not a coward. Not any more.

"I'm stayin' here 'cause I love you, Angel. I couldn't just leave like that. What if...what if something happened to you and I was...on the fuckin' beach waiting like an asshole while you and Eves were in danger? I'd never forgive myself. And I'm safe here. You know that. It feels better for me to be closer, baby. So much better."

He closed his eyes tightly, trying to imagine her response. She'd agree with him. Might even laugh a bit at how ridiculous it had been to try to make him leave. Then she'd open the shower curtain and reach her hand out to him, inviting him in. This time, he'd step inside and just hold her. That was all he wanted. Just to hold her close, to draw strength from her like he had in the past.

"Juice?" Bones' voice called from the living room.

And the illusion was shattered. Juice opened his eyes and stood, going over to turn off the water. Angela wasn't there. She wouldn't be there for a long time. He headed out to the living room and nodded his greeting to Bones. "Sup Boner?"

"Were you...talking to someone?" he asked, his hands buried deep in his pockets.

Juice shook his head quickly hoping Bones didn't question him too much. He didn't want to admit he was starting to lose it. "No. Just...in the shower."

Bones looked him up and down like he was crazy. "Oh. Guess you dry like Aquaman fast."

He scratched at the back of his neck and smiled a bit at the comic book reference. "Somethin' like that," he muttered, before moving his head from side to side, cracking his neck just a bit. "What's up? Why you here?"

"Just checkin' in. Wanted to see if you needed food or anythin'. Ang 'n' I are making a trip over to Target," he explained on a shrug.

Juice loved going on Target runs with Angela. It was something they used to do often together as a way of escaping Charming for a bit. He'd leave his cut behind, put on a hat, and they'd wander the aisles filling their cart with more stuff than they ever intended to buy. Most of the time, she'd push the cart while he walked behind her, every so often kissing her neck when she stopped to look at something. People would glare at them, but Angela never seemed to mind. She never once pushed him away. They'd even had a quickie in one of the dressing rooms there once, without getting caught too. She'd been trying on swimming suits, and he'd gotten a little too excited about one of them. She'd laughed when he grabbed her, letting him have his way without a shred of hesitation. He loved that about her.