hopeless

*18* Alex

I fell asleep on the couch and woke up around dawns shoulders walking me to our room ." good morning beauty queen ." Dawn whispered to me. "Good morning to you too , what time is it ? " I asked ." It's one in the morning." she quietly responded . " we gotta get some sleep cause we have a big day ahead of us ." I said sleepily . " mhm....." she replied as she was slowly dozing off under me in the elevator still carrying me on her shoulders. She mumbled something while she continued to sleep . I get down from her shoulders and hold her in my arms bridal style and carry her to our room.  When the sun came up I knew she would refuse to get out of bed , and I wasn't wrong . when it came time to wake her up she clung her face to my pillow and curled into my side and wrapped herself tightly in the sheets. I watched her try desperately to remain in bed . I stood up from the bed and unraveled her from the sheets and took away the pillow . she sighed and curled up into a ball and continued to sleep peacefully.I picked her up and started in dressing her ,i then undressed myself and throw her over my shoulder and take her into the bathroom . starting the shower , we get in . I start to wash her hair while she stays sleepily in my arms. After washing myself I dress her and myself and then went to the pack hospital. When we got there Dawn groggily asked where we were ." were at the pack hospital for our appointments." I replied with a smile ." I haven't seen you smile in a long time ." she said snuggling to my chest . " I kind of chuckle at her words. " alpha and luna you're here for your appointments .correct ?" a nurse asked after walking up to us ." yes ,as you can see she didn't want to get out of bed today ." I replied . the nurse smiles and took us to a room . when I set Dawn down on the doctors cot she sat up and opened her eyes now fully awake and functional. I'll be going to another room, it's just next door okay ?" I said to Dawn and she just nodded silently as I left.I walked into the room next door and waited for the doctor . after the doctor was done she went next door and did Dawns check up . suddenly there was a knock on the door . " come in . " I replied . the doctor walked in and frowned." I'm truly sorry to be the bearer of bad news,but it has been found that your mate has cancer in her lungs and stomach and may not be able to have children to continue your pack line . but , we could possibly start chemo and slow down the cancer but we may fail in stopping her cancer ." I stared at her blankly before asking . " How long is she expected to live , and how long has the cancer been afecting her? " said with a sigh." it seems that the cancer has been on her record since she was born and she has a life expectancy of four years." I stood up at her words and balled my hands into fists .i then walked out of my room and into dawns .she was standing in under garments and an open backed robe, tears straining to escape her light colored eyes. I didn't speak and she stated at me in fear." I'm so sorry Alex I didn't know." she cried and I caressed her in my strong arms . " well we better fight like he'll to make it through this , I'm here for you ." I said tears threatening to fall down my face . i almost lost her once and that doesn't mean I won't fight to keep her by my side once again , I'll do my best to take what ever means necessary to keep her alive .even if it means I might lose myself to her just to keep her. But , part of me doesn't want her to live in vein slowly dying next to me .I don't want to watch her fade away helplessly and stand idly by while she becomes a lost treasure.I can't afford to lose her ." Alex ." Dawn said cautiously ." yes ." I sadly replied." this can take my life but , I wanna live while I still can." her words pained my heart and a sad but calm expression clouded my face .  when we arrived home the sitter said that Chase behaves well today while we were gone. Dawn didn't genuinelysmile even when she saw Chase ,she had the most fake smile plastered on her face that I've ever seen and I wanted her to smile again even if her life was on the line between her smile and the cancer slowly consuming her body .we were told to come back in a week so that chemo would be started and to plan for surgery to remove the cancer cells from her lungs and wait for her to heal only to wait for another surgery for her stomach . even after that she may still never have children.