hopeless

* 9 *

i was carried upstairs to alex's room and we fell asleep and i was dreaming it was a nightmare*i'm asleep with alex and suddenly i was stabbed in the back with something sharp and i screamed as his laughter rang through the entire room and i begged him to stop as he stabbed me several times and i just layed there screaming and i couldn't move at all and it wasn't alex stabbing me it was asher and alex was dead and i grasped the pillow with my hands and squeezed it tight* i woke up on alex's chest i was holding his shirt in my hands tight and my face was pushed into his chest hard and he grumbled he rubbed his hand on my back "it's okay calm down please i'm not going to hurt you i promise you're safe . what's wrong?" he said and asked with care " i- it was n-nothing . i swear it was j-just a dream ."  i stammered at his question as i answered i was scared his kindness scared me i didn't understand why he was so kind to me- "are you ok what was it about " he just said so calmly and it made me tremble when he said it like that "are you ok " "yes i-" he cut me off " i don't want that answer what was it about " he said it sternly at me  "it was just a dream that's all nothing more ok i just don't want to talk about it " i screamed at him "i'm sorry but you have to talk about it since you answered you have to tell me what your dream was about now ! spit it out ." he just continued to tell me to talk to him about it and i didn't want to but here it goes "it was a dream about asher " "asher why ?" "he killed you and then he killed me but then it ended and that's all ,i'm sorry i woke you up you must think i'm really pathetic and stupid it's ok if you punish me for waking you up." i lowered my head and waited for him to get mad or hit me or something and a stray tear i was trying to hold back fell down my cheek and he startled me as his hand wiped away my tear i trembled as he wiped it away and i just sat there. "it's ok i won't punish you , you needed me so it's ok it's good that you needed me and i'm here for you so don't ever think i'll punish you for needing me ok. and you're not pathetic" he hugged me and i just let him and i layed my head on his chest and snuggled him back as he ran his hands through my long dark hair. as we layed there he fell asleep and i just burried my face into his chest and i started crying , his grip wasn't tight so i slipped out of his arms and i walked over to the closet and grabbed jean shorts and a t-shirt and put them on , i grabbed a backpack of alex's and put two outfits into it and i also took one of his giant shirts and placed it into the bag *he won't mind if i leave  him , he doesn't need me but i need him so i-i'll just go so he won't have any troubles of me . i love you alex goodnight see you in the future life i hope you aren't ma when you wake up .* i gathered all the rest of my clothes and wrote him a note.

 ( dear alex i'm sorry for leaving please don't come to find me i'll come back soon but untill then you won't have any issues with me being there to wake you up and cause any more problems with your pack -goodbye -                                                                                                                                                                                            -dawn - P.S if you do come looking for me i will never forgive you and i could never forgive myself for leaving you behind but i've caused so much pain so i left don't forget me i'll still be here in your heart.)

i packed the bag untill i couldn't pack it anymore i went into the restroom and cut my stitches out so i wouldn't worry him about my medical condition and it wouldn't get infected  and wrapped it so he couldn't smell the wound and i left the note on the mirror. i walked down the steps all the guards were asleep i had left the wheelchair in his room. tears fell down my face as i walked out of one of the open windows on the second  floor and i ran off into the woods i went running and i shifted i was a wolf with a backpack in my mouth running i ran to the edge of the forest to my parents old farm it's my farm now i was their only kin left of their hier and the only one the farm is left to i'll take good care of it and the farm animals . we have cows,sheep,horses,chickens,ducks,pigs,geese,one dog and one cat. the dog ran up to me and tackled me and i smiled he barked and bit my hand playfully and then he sniffed me and then had no interest in me at all so he walked off and went to the sheep  pen and curled up with a lamb and i walked into the barn where the inside pens were and the rest of the animals sleep and the cows mooed and the pigs snorted and then a man came in with a bail of hay and i grabbed it from him and he just stared at me . "you're -" he paused "you're dawn right?" i nodded as he asked "well ill be helping you for a while you haven't been around so i took care of the animals while you and your parents were gone so how are they?" he doesn't know does he?"they d-died in the shooting five and a half years ago i-" he cut me off "oh i didn't  know i'm sorry for your loss i hope you don't mind that i stay here for a couple of days and show you to your room." i nodded letting him know it was fine he showed me the entire house  and my room was huge and covered in old photos and my bed was even huge and covered in farm horse blankets with fuzzy horses everywhere and unicorns and pegesi on my celing and on the walls he went to the barn after showing me around  i layed on the bed and fell asleep drifting into the dreams of the past.

HERE IS THE RETYPE OF CH9 ENJOY  DONT FORGETTO COMMENT AND VOTE