Deadly Infatuation

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The first two weeks of college went by in a blur. I was torn between wanting to know why Lucas left and what it meant, and just acting like it never happened. I know he's avoiding me because I haven't seen him since our kiss, he has had his Teaching Aid teaching our class. The reason for him not being in class was that he apparently had a family emergency. His being gone only made me want to see him more, the yearning I had felt the first time I saw him was slowly fading and beginning to feel like a dream. I could feel my self-fighting to keep his memory fresh, but as hard as I tried he was still slipping away. The days passed by and I could no longer imagine the way his lips felt against mine. I couldn't stop my self from doubting everything, did I do something wrong? The kiss must have been a mistake, that's why he left so soon, maybe he was just showing me that.

I spent those two weeks trying to avoid Cameron and his girlfriend. He kept trying to explain to me how he and his girlfriend were going through a rough patch because she had cheated on him, and he was trying to give her a second chance. I  had mastered avoiding them, in the class we had together I would arrive early and sit in the very back of the class, or arrive just before class started and sit close to the door.  This is the last class of the week, if I can just get out of here I can stay in all weekend I kept telling myself.

The professor released us and I dashed out the door, I started walking to my apartment. After the first day fiasco, I haven't taken the bus, I don't know if it was to avoid Cam or in hopes that Riley would rescue me again. I was starting to enjoy the walkthrough, it was mid-September and the weather was warm,  not too hot but not cold either. I was getting to see the trees change color, they were fading from a hunter green slowly to an auburn red, it reminded me a lot of my little sister's hair color. It made me miss home and miss my family.  I put my headphones in and started walking. I  made it about halfway to my apartment when a hand on my shoulder spun me around.

"What the hell are you doing" I yelled taking my headphones off. "I've been calling your name for the past 3 blocks," Cameron said out of breath. "Yeah well I was listing to music, what do you want Cam," I ask him growing more irritated by the second. "I just want to talk to you, I haven't gotten a reply  from any of the texts I've sent you." "Well, Cam what do you want me to say? We went on a date you acted like you liked me, and the next day I  see you with your girlfriend. How do you think that makes me feel?"

I  tell him bewildered that he has the audacity to be upset with me.  "Look  I'm sorry okay, I really like you, Lily, I just have to give Clair another chance, we dated a year before we broke up. She asked for another chance and I feel like I have to give her one..." he tells me with remorse in his voice. "Okay great, good for you, but what does this have to do with me,"  I say crossing my arms being a little bitchy to him. 

I really want to be friends Lily, please can we try to be friends?" his voice filled with hope and his blue-green eyes thawing my frozen heart. I sit there for a  moment considering this, I do like Cam and he seems like he would be a  good friend to have. I know he's a good guy, the type of guy that wouldn't hurt you on purpose. Could I push my feelings I had developed for him aside and try to be his friend? I guess I thought I could because I told him yes.

               He walked me home and told me he was glad that we were friends now.  We hugged and I could feel the broadness of his shoulders, they were like a shield protecting me and blocking everything out. I could feel his lean muscles up against me during our hug. He smelt like Irish springs soap and old spice deodorant. I realized we had been hugging for way too long for just friends. I broke the hug looking up at him, he started to lean down almost to kiss me but then came to his senses and took a big step back.

"Well, I better go now,  what are your plans for tonight? There's a great dance club that a bunch  of my friends and I are going to, Y'all should all come too!" The excitement in his voice was contagious, and I do love to dance. "I'll ask  Laney and Zack if they want to, I think it might be fun," I tell him smiling at him, I could feel the flutter in my stomach when he smiled at me. "Okay well, hopefully, I see you tonight" the thick country accent making his departure bittersweet. "I hope so too" I reply over my shoulder as I walk through my doorway. I give Cam one last look before I  shut the door and he waves goodbye to me.

I shut the door and find  Laney in our kitchen eating cereal and scrolling through her phone.  "Hey, what are we doing tonight? Cam invited us all to go to a dance club with his friends"

"Well are any of the friends cute?" she asks me finally looking up. "I don't know but I would assume so, just look at  Cam" she takes what I said into consideration, "Yeah that will be a  fun, just call Zack and have him come over here." "Okay the club is called Night Changes, it's about 8 blocks from here, but I don't think it's a college bar, it's more of a dance club," I tell her hoping she will still want to go. "Alright that's fine, let's get ready," she says grinning wildly at me.

Laney loves to get ready, where I would rather wear a T-Shirt and vans, she would rather wear dresses and heels. So I let her help me get ready, she noticed the slump I had been in since Riley had left, but she thought it was because of Cameron. It honestly was a little bit of both, I was still hurt by both of them, but now that Cameron and I were friends again, my heart ached for Professor Riley. I couldn't tell her that though, I liked having this secret to my self. It made the moments sweeter and way more intimate. I don't know why I still thought of him,  I had only had known him for a day before he disappeared. Yet he still was on my mind and heart. Is It possible for me to care about two people that are polar opposites?

Lucas was sexy and dangerous, and he was completely unattainable. Cameron was pure and kind, he was safe and he made me care about him from the first day I had met him. Lucas made my heart pound with the potential of our relationship becoming something more than teacher-student. Cameron had a girlfriend and as much as I wanted it to be me, it wasn't. His girlfriend was beautiful too, which made it worse. I could see how much he cared for her, I could see how much she meant to him. She broke his heart but yet he still took her back and gave her another chance.

How could I be falling for two guys at the same time, in high school my dating like was almost nonexistent. Now here I am, my second week of college and I have two guys that I care for very much. One that I believed cared for me but left me after kissing me and I haven't seen after two weeks. The other one who I had a deep connection with, and I wanted so much more with than friendship, only wanted friendship from me.

We dressed in our best looking to make a good impression, to show Cameron what he was missing. Laney decided that my normal look wouldn't do for tonight. In heels that were sky high and candy apple red, and a dress black as the night we were ready. Laney's outfit was opposite of mine, her heels were black and her dress red. Our hair was even different, mine in soft blonde waves and hers straight as a board and a dark chocolate brown.

I looked in the mirror and for once, I didn't feel plain. The way my hair lightly fell past my bare shoulders brought out my tan from the summer. Laney put dark makeup around my eyes, I thought it would be too much, but it wasn't somehow it was the perfect amount of everything. She circled my eyes in dark liner and put a dark grey on my eyelids that made my light blue eyes stand out. With a dark vampy red on my lips I felt like someone else, I felt beautiful and unique. For the first time in my life that I didn't feel like Lily. I felt dangerous and sexy I loved it.

I was ready to concur the night, to make it mine. This would be our night, the night that the pain in my chest would disappear at least for a little while. I would finally get to enjoy being a college student. I wouldn't think about Professor Riley and his smoldering eyes and the way his lips felt when we kissed. I wouldn't think about Cameron and how being with him made me feel safe even though he wasn't mine. I would see Cameron an show him what he was missing. I knew his girlfriend would be there and I know seeing them together will be painful. But I wasn't going to let them hinder my night. Even though Cameron invited me to go with him tonight, I won't have to see him all night. I will just say hello and then enjoy the rest of my life. Tonight was the night I was going to let go and feel free of all the emotions I had been hiding inside.