Love for Eternity (Seth's Imprint)

Chapter 38

Esme's POV:

I followed the scent of alcohol as her normal scent of cotton and peaches was hidden deep underneath. I followed it back through town until I reached a cementary with a high metal gate going around it. I jump the gate and slowed my step as the scent got stronger and I heard her in the distance talking to someone. At least I thought she was talking to someone.

I see her in the distance sitting in front of a grave, and somehow I already know who lies buried there. Jesse James. I watch with a growing sadness in my heart as she opens another bottle of what smells like whiskey, not even sure where she got it before she got here. I hear her take a ragged breath before she raises the bottle towards the grave some and says a toast that I've never heard before.

"Evening Jesse, got our favorite tonight. Well here's to you and here's to me and should we ever disagree than to hell with you and to hell with me." (D)

I watched as she poured a bit out on the grave before taking a long swig from the bottle. I walked a bit closer to her as she put her head on her knees while sitting on the soft green grass of the grave. I listen to her talk to him as if she's talking to an actual person, and it breaks my heart to think that this was her life before us. Utterly alone.

"Momma found me tonight and Angel made an appearence after she smashed my whiskey. Member when you did that once by mistake and Angel liked to have your head? Happened tonight too. It almost.....it's so angry at me for leaving...... gettin harder to control. I go through bout seven bottles of the hard stuff a day now just to keep it under control. Didn't even go through that much after you were killed.....or when Frank died." (D)

I watch her wipe tears away before she takes another large drink from the bottle and then sobs to the grave in front of her. I see her shake with her quiet sobs before she takes another drink and looks out ahead into the empty graveyard.

"Could have killed her Jesse......only momma I've ever had and I was thinking of ways to.....all cause Angel is so angry.......they said I was killin myself this way.....I know I am I just don care anymore. Hell last time I had an actual meal.............that night........the picnic with the wolf I told you bout......oh Jesse I never thought after you that I'd lov-" (D)

I hear her words choke on a sob from her lips as she pauses mid-word. She takes another drink from the bottle before I hear her heart beat and a whimper of pain escapes from her lips as she flinches in on herself. It confirms my fears that it's hurting her when it beats. I need to get her home to Carlisle and soon. I walk up closer, slowly behind her as she seems to finish the bottle, laying it gently on the grass in front of her.

"Dixie?" (E)

I see her freeze for a moment before she turns around to face me, still sitting in the grass. I see fresh tears fall from her eyes as I get closer to her, before pulling her into my chest for a gentle hug. I feel her slowly wrap her arms around me, before she starts to apologize for what happened in the cabin again and again.

"Shhhhhh Dixie, it's alright. I just want you to come home hun, I want my daughter safe with me not killing herself with alcohol. Would Jesse approve of this plan?" (E)

I see her face morph into pain again before looking back at the headstone. She's quiet for a few more moments before she looks back to me and shakes her head no. I push the hair gently behind her ears as I look at her, smiling gently at her.

"Won't you come home? Please?" (E)

"Momma I want too but I don't know if I can take it.....I...." (D)

"We'll all be there for you. Nessie cried for a whole day straight after you left, and the only reason I didn't was because I can't." (E)

"I don't know if I can....I don't really belong with y'all...." (D)