Connor Murphy Imagines

No Second Chances: Evan Hansen x Zoe Murphy

Okay, I know this book was supposed to be strictly Connor Murphy related, but I had a quick idea that was  heartbreakingly sad. There's a song by James Arthur called Can I Be Him, and if you want to listen to it, the music video is above.

That will be all, enjoy!

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Evan had been texting Zoe one evening, surprised that she even answered. After the whole, "Lying about being friends with your brother thing," she was pretty pissed off. She was more surprised that Evan lied to her in general, than upset that she lied about her brother. She didn't talk to him for a few months, and he thought he had completely blown his chance.

He loved her with all his heart, but he didn't know how to tell her. Without bringing up her dead brother of course. Luckily, more recently, they had started talking again, about a lot of things, come to think of it. She had told him about different artists she liked when it came to music, and he told her about his favorite plants and such.

5:30pm: Zoe<3

How has life been for ya?

5:31pm: Me

Pretty good. You?

5:31pm: Zoe<3

A little busy, but good.

5:32pm: Me

Not to seem nosy, but busy with what?

5:32pm: Zoe<3

Jazz band stuff.

5:33pm: Me

Cool!

5:33pm: Zoe<3

Thanks.

5:33: Me

Np

5:34pm: Me

Speaking of music, you said you were a fan of James Arthur, right?

5:35pm: Zoe<3

Ya, why?

5:36pm: Me

There's a song by him that I think you would like. I'll send it to you.

5:37pm: Zoe<3

Okay.

Evan was taking a real risk with what he was about to do. He was about to try to confess his feelings for Zoe Murphy, the girl who was way out of his league. She was beautiful, and smart, and kind, and he was just... well, him. He wished he knew what she thought about him, so that he would know if he maybe, just maybe, had a shot with her.

God, that'd be something.

He looked up the song on YouTube, Can I Be Him, by James Arthur. He hit the, "Share," button, and sent the link to Zoe. His heart was pounding in his chest, and he could feel the sweat dripping down his forehead. "What if she still hates you?" He wondered. What would he do then? I mean, jumping out of a tree definitely isn't an option, considering what he did to his arm.

5:38pm: Zoe <3

Thanks! I haven't heard this one yet. I'll listen to it now.

5:39pm: Me

Cool.

Yep, Evan was definitely sweating now. So he waited, and waited, and waited, for anything to show that she didn't hate him still. I mean, he wouldn't be surprised, but that wouldn't make it any better. He still felt horrible about what he had done, and Jared still refused to talk to him, and quite frankly, he didn't expect him to.

Meanwhile, Zoe was listening to the song Evan had sent him, both confused as to why he sent it, but completely understanding at the same time. She knew fully well that she couldn't go to her mom about this, because she still hated Evan, Larry had divorced Cynthia after the, "Connor Project," went to shit, and Alana isn't really great in emotional situations.

In all honesty, Zoe knew she could never have the same relationship she did with Evan ever again, because he lied to everyone about her brother. Now, in no way did she mean she liked the guy, but she was his sister, so she kind of had to remember him for who he was. The angry, and who he was before the assholes ruined his life, and are the reason he killed himself.

After the song ended, she thought for a moment, "How do I say that I'm not interested without sounding rude?" She noticed a new text from Evan.

5:43pm: Evan

Hello?

She stared at the screen. She could act oblivious, pretend she didn't know what he actually meant by sending the song, but she knew he would ask eventually. Or she could break his heart. Tell him the truth by saying she wasn't interested in him, but she did want to try to be his friend again.

5:44pm: Me

Hi.

5:44pm: Evan

How was the song?

5:45pm: Me

It was good. Any reason you sent it?

She wanted to make sure she had the right idea, before she shot the guy down, ya know?

5:46pm: Evan

Actually, there is...

"Oh shit." She thought.

5:57pm: Me

Oh?

5:58pm: Evan

Zoe, I really like you. As in a more than friend way.

She appreciated that he didn't go into the poetic bullshit that she usually got from guys (and gals. And nonbinary pals.) Zoe sighed, she was going to have to tell him sooner or later that she didn't like him in that way, so she might as well get it over with now, before he started to get the wrong idea.

6:05pm: Me

Listen Evan, I'm going to be honest with you. I'm still fairly angry with you about the, "Connor Project," bullshit you pulled last year. You gave everyone false hope, and lied about my dead brother to try to get into a relationship with me. But that's not why I'm turning you down. Not only am I trying to be friends with you again, but I'm just not interested in you in that way. I'm sorry Evan, you're a really sweet guy, and I understand that you're not exactly mentally there sometimes, and that you try your best. Please don't take this personally.

She sent the message, and prayed that she would get a response from him, so that she knew he didn't, "fall," from another tree. On the other side of the conversation, Evan felt his heart sink. He knew she was trying to be nice to him, and he should have seen this coming. He hurt so many people, so he wasn't surprised that she rejected him.

He actually would have been more surprised if she had said yes.

6:07pm: Me

I understand. Thanks for telling me. I'm just going to go to sleep.

Zoe felt horrible, she could practically hear the heartbreak in his voice. But she knew this was what she had to do.

6:08pm: Me

Okay, goodnight.

6:09pm: Evan

Goodnight.

Zoe felt absolutely horrible, and so did Evan.

Both in their own ways.

Evan was lucky he had her, but she means everything to him.

Zoe was still angry at him, but she wanted to be friends with him.

Two sides of a story,

Two people hurting,

Two people who wished they could change the past.