Connor Murphy Imagines

Connor Murphy x Reader: Worst Nightmare

Warning: Suicide mentions

You walked into the park after school, with the afternoon breeze blowing. A fairly reserved part of the location drew your attention, and your steps led you farther and farther away from the business of the playground. It was quiet, just what you wanted after such a long day. Out of the corner of your eye, you thought you saw someone.

Turning your head, you saw a guy passed out on a picnic table. You were pretty far away, so you thought it was just a random homeless person. Wanting to help the poor man find a homeless shelter, you walked over to wake him up. When you got closer, the features got more identifiable. Fear began to set in when you thought you recognized the guy.

Connor really didn't seem like the nature guy to you, but he would walk in the park with you after school for your sake. "Connor?" You called, thinking it was kind of cute that he fell asleep in the sun. You poked him in the shoulder, hearing something rattle. What you saw made you want to scream, cry, or both. 

In his limp hand, he held an orange prescription bottle. Half of the pills were gone, and a few were spilled on the seat of the picnic table. "Connor!" You tried to shake him, but he quickly turned to dust. His remains flew away in the wind, and soon, the only thing you were left with was a half empty pill bottle with a note on it.

To my parents, I'm sorry for being your fuck up son. To Zoe, I'm sorry for being a monster of a brother. To Y/N, I love you so much, but I'm going to hurt you, just like I hurt everyone else in my life. I wish I could undo what's been done, but I can't. So I'm going to make things right by leaving. Goodbye.

Sincerely,

Connor Murphy

You woke up, panic coursing through your veins. The room was completely dark, and you couldn't see a thing. "Holy shit." You muttered quietly to yourself. "Connor's dead." You felt tears begin to fall down your face, and soon enough you were sobbing, covering your mouth so that you wouldn't wake up your parents.

"Y/N?" You looked in the direction of the voice, thinking you were going crazy. "Y/N, what's wrong?" Barely being able to see, you turned on the lamp on your beside table. You couldn't believe what you saw. Connor Murphy was dead, yet, he was sitting ride next to you, half awake and shirtless. "What the hell?" You asked, pretty freaked out.

"What?" He asked, rubbing his eye. "You're dead! How the hell are you here? Are you a ghost, a figment of my imagination? Is this some twisted joke?" Connor instantly became more confused than he ever had in his whole life. "Y/N, I'm alive." You wanted to believe him, but you just couldn't.

"Are you sure-" You stopped for a moment, knowing you sounded insane. "Are you sure you're real?" Connor laughed slightly, a sad smile coming to his face. You moved towards him,  and slowly cupped his face in one of your hands. He wasn't fading into dust, so that's always a good start. Leaning into your touch, he closed his eyes, smiling contently.

You smiled slightly, knowing that this Connor, your Connor, was alive and well. "See? I'm alive." You nodded, taking in the small details of his face. "Can you tell me one thing? Why the fuck are you asking if I'm alive at three in the morning?" Concerned for your sanity, you tried to blow it off as just a stupid dream, but Connor wasn't buying it.

So you explained the dream, watching Connor's expression go from curious to concerned as you told the story. "Y/N, I can't say that I didn't try to kill myself. You were with me in the hospital, but I failed for a goddamn reason. You were my reason, Y/N. I think the universe took pity on me, and let me survive to have a life with you." He held both of your hands, a small smile on his face.

"Well, even if I'm just, "universe pity," I'm happy to be with you either way." He put his head in his hands, explaining that he didn't mean that in a bad way. "You're the best thing in my life, how else am I supposed to explain it?" "I'm just messing with you, Connor. I love you with all my heart, even if I am your Universe Pity." "Oh my God, kill me."

"I'm afraid I'll have to take mercy on you. Besides, you've never killed me when I asked you to." "Shut up." "Make me." "I would but it's three in the morning and we're going to a Lake George tomorrow with Hansen and his meme of a boyfriend." "Fair point, but at least the walking meme usually offers to pay for coffee to get you to shut up."

"True." Connor was about to go to sleep, but he noticed you staring off into the distance. "Hey." He said, pulling you from your thoughts. "I'm alive, okay? And I'm not going anywhere without you." "Promise?" He laughed slightly. "Yes, I promise. Actually," Connor got a smirk on his face. "Since the day after tomorrow is your birthday, I have a surprise for you."

"Can you tell me what it is?" "No, then it wouldn't be a surprise, silly." He booped your nose. "Not even a hint?" "Nope." "Not even a little bit." You did the puppy eyes, and on any other occasion, he would've caved in, but today was an exception. He knew making you wait was going to kill you, but it would be worth it.

For both of you.