I don't know what came to my mind and I said Yes to this man when he proposed to marry me today. Yes, today dito sa Barcelona. As in ngayon, spur of the moment. Though symbolic wedding lang ito, hindi mo maalis sa akin ang bigla na lang kabahan. Nadala ata ako sa laki ng bato ng engagement ring na binigay nya sa akin.
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I grew up with my parents telling me the importance of marriage, the virtues of a church wedding and the value of the vows made inside the wedding. But here I am, getting married to the man I just knew for a week and some days. Though this is just a symbolic wedding, I cant help myself but be nervous and afraid of the come out.
Sa ngayon, I badly wanted to call Kaela. She has this weird dream of getting married secretly. Maybe, knowing why she wanted badly to be married secretly will atleast make me feeling at ease with this wedding. I want to ask her why she wanted to be wed all by herself. I wanted to ask her why would she bind herself to someone without anybody else.
I sighed.
"Are you okay mahal ko?" Seb asked
"Ofcourse." I smiled at him kahit na sa totoo lang, nagririgodon na ang pakiramdam ko
I want a big wedding. Yan ang paulit ulit na pumapasok sa isip ko. Kanina, Seb asked me what do I want with our wedding and I opt not to tell him what I really wanted.
I want a wedding in a big church maybe as big as San Agustin or Manila Cathedral in the afternoon. I want a picture taken at sunset outside the church. I want a thick long red carpet on the aisle. I want the whole church be overly covered with Tulips. While I walk down the aisle, I want flowers being showered to me. I want my gown's tail be so long and big. I want my veil be very pretty as it will cover my face. I want my Mom and Dad be there to walk me down until the end of the aisle. I want my friends to witness how happy I am.
I sighed again.
"Mahal ko, are you sure you're okay? Did something upsets you?" malambing na tanong ni Seb
Gusto kong umamin sa kanya na ayaw ko magpakasal but I am so drown to his happy eyes. Nung nag yes ako kaninang nagpropose sya, his eyes are beamingly happy. Sa dami ng nagawa nya para sa akin for almost 3 weeks, magagwa ko ba syang saktan?
I believe that he is very sincere. I can feel it. Ang akin lang, tama ba itong ginagawa ko?
I know I love him. Siguro nga mabilis pero may nagsabi ba kung gaano katagal dapat bago ka mahulog sa isang tao? May pointers ba ang pag-fall inlove? Wala naman diba? And me making everything just to make him happy is how I show I love him.
Maybe being so tied up to my job for so long makes me so innocent in love and life. Hindi naman ako makapagtanong dahil hindi ko rin naman alam ano ang itatanong ko. This is my first time to fall inlove, really inlove hindi yung inlove inlovean lang.
